E'Kyha

THIS post is been written in JOHANNESBURG

THIS post means I am HOME

THIS post means I have a big smile on my face.

Yeah - Finally I am on R&R. A working R&R, but R&R nevertheless.

The flight home was a pleasure thanks to a very nice sleeping tablet supplied by the local East Legon Chemist, which taken 20 minutes after take off (just in case we crashed on take off you understand), meant I woke up when they announced we were 10 minutes from landing.

Oh what joy!

I was still pissed off when the farkers at the airport in Ghana once again confiscated my lighter. One day I am going to learn to secret the bloody thing away. When I (rightfully) asked the reason why they confiscated lighters I was given the inane reason that I could threaten someone with it.

They were not kidding either, as when I tried to educate them on how a lighter was no worse than the matches they allow through, I was told best I move on before they lock me up.

I wanted to go home, so my point was not pressed.

I came home to

- A green Pool
- A Kreepy that has been chewed by our 2 new dogs
- Leaking taps
- Leaking toilets
- Dogs in the house
- Chewed up cushions
- A maid who had taken the day off on Monday due to a public holiday - I mean wtf gives them days off I ask....

But I got laid, I had a dinner consisting of pork chops, rib eye steak and fresh salad so I am HAPPY!!!!

My licence has expired. I will need to brave officialdom once again to renew it.

I have speeding fines which my kids signed for that Nessers needs to pay - cos she was driving - hehehehe

I have three er make that five months worth of mail to go through.

BUT

I am smiling!!


Hope you are too

E'Kya

Hey Guess what!!!

THIS post comes from Accra

THIS post means that I am finally getting on a flight home

THIS post means by tomorrow night this time (hopefully) I would have been shagged

THIS Post means I have a smile on my face.

See

*BIG SMILE*

See you in Jozi!!

Can I say "fuck" on Blogger please?

This post comes from…NOT Accra Airport

This post (once again) comes from site

This post means my original R&R date of August 4th – which was delayed to September 13th, which was delayed until September 20th has been delayed once again.

This time it is courtesy of my workers deciding that if I went home, they would not get an increase. So they decided it was best I should given them an increase before I go home. Until then Mr. Tony ,we will happily stop work and really piss me off and the client.

Am I pissed off?

Yeah you could say I am. You could also say I am tired and unhappy and disappointed.

You could say all the above and be right.

I did however to play 18 holes of Golf on Sunday. Golf was terrible, but the walk was good and I did have a lot of fun.

Other than that. Nothing. Just long hours of “negotiations” with “workers representatives”.

I am now hoping for Friday.

Hold thumbs for me.

Home time? think again Oscar!!

It is Wednesday evening

The 13th

Unlucky for some…….

I am the unlucky one, as I am not currently in Accra. I am not going to be checking in at the airport tonight. I will not be on a plane to SA tonight. And worst of all – I will not be having wild sex tomorrow.

Why?

Cause my going home has been delayed by a week. The reasons for which are work related and I will not go into in any great depth. Needless to say, I am somewhat disappointed.

But - Life goes on.

I did have a minor brush with a mosquito which bought on the malaria symptoms on Monday. True to form the local clinic could not test me as “We have run out of reagents” was the answer when I toddled through for a test.

So in true Ghana fashion, I self medicated. And fortunately only had two days of the sweats, eye of a needle, sore as hell kinda feeling.

I am recovering nicely and will finish my 4 day course of anti bug muti. I also do not get a shock when I pee mud.

The week continues to be hectic, with a load of small work stuff to do as well. I delayed some of it safe with the knowledge that I am going home a week later.

I played golf on Sunday. An easily forgotten game, when I lost four balls. (two of them brand new). My short game is however getting better. The greens are not and I only had one monster put to talk of. (on the last hole)

No drinking sprees, no Jeri Card Games and generally a quiet time. Carl and Jeri bought back a lot of goodies from SA, so I am smoking SA ciggies, have decent peri peri and above all, they bought back Tastic Rice. Oh Orgasm stuff.

Jeri also bought back 4 books. I had read one, doused another one in a few days and missed the boat as Jeri reads faster than I do.

I am now reading Mens Health until a book becomes available.

I do believe it is time to go on a hooley

Catching up on the news I finally became aware of Zimbabwe and their “remove the zero’s from the notes” debacle. I have always wondered why many countries do not do that. I will however state without a doubt that I would have planned it a lot better. However planning is not the Zim governments’ strong point.

SA press also put an interesting swing on headlines as far as Zim goes. The headline read “Maize Grab in Zimbabwe”. Emotive. The facts of the matter was the defence force was mobilized to “assist” with transporting maize to the maize board. The problem arises when the farmers do not want the maize to go to the maize board, but rather hang onto what they have grown, use it for personal consumption and bartering/ counter trade.

Then we have a grab apparently.

Africa abounds. Now that we have a power shortage in Ghana, the price of Generators have shot up by some 100%. Over night. And this includes the so called “responsible multinational companies” I mean price gouge when you can huh. Corporate responsibility be damned.

Our job continues to amaze me. I have however learnt a lot of stuff over the last few months and am able to confidently argue points of a technical nature. Even the guy’s light hearted ribbing about the “bean counter” has slowed down. This bean counter can use a dumpy demmet!!! (wicked chuckle)

So – another week in the land of (long life) milk and (imported) honey.

Let’s see if I will survive!!

The reason why I am sure God is a man.

The realm of a Gynecologist has always been on of mystery to me. For obvious reasons.

Woman in general however do not enjoy them, and always mention how intrusive they can be. Many hanker after woman Gynaes or tall dark and handsome ones.

Plus you cannot have any nookie with a woman for at least a week before she visits the Gynae “cause he/she/it will know we have sex”. Hello!! You are 36 years old. Single and shaggable. Of course you are having sex demmet. Loads and loads of good sex!!

That said.

The reason we know God is a man, is mainly due to the almighty (sic) fark up he made when designing womans bits. An entire industry has spawned off womans bits.

Why am I writing about this?

Well! A certain person who shall remain nameless – but knows who she is – had a tale to tell which had me rolling around the floor. Tears in my eyes. Slapping my sides

Picture this.

Said lady has not had nookie for a while.

Said lady has genuine needs that we all have when the nookie has dried up (so to speak)

Said lady one evening hauls out lube and “Hugo”. Hugo is a well endowed “massager”

Said lady proceeds to use Hugo as he was designed – veins and all

A few good orgasms later. Satisfied smile on face, said lady removes Hugo.

(it gets a tad Gory from here)

Blood is noticed

“Oh good – my period is early”

Scene Fade to next day.

“Oh Shite - no more blood…. That was not my period”

Scene fade to Doctors Rooms

Doctor What Happened?
Said Lady Was having nookie and we noticed blood (We…. When did it become a we???)

Now what ever happened to the old adage “You can trust your doctor with your life”

You can do that – but cannot tell the Doc that you were banging away with your favorite sex toy and possibly were a bit vigorous with the “harder, deeper faster, pinch my nipples” side of the equation.

Why are you ladies so embarrassed about using sex toys. Everyone does it! And I mean Everyone!!!!

Tis the 21st century

Woman are emancipated

Sex is spoken about freely

But we must tell the Doc fibs. Cause we a bit embarrassed. *chuckle*

The upshot:

Said lady sent for a pregnancy test, blood test and placed on AntiB’s for a possible infection.

The moral of the story is: Tell the Doctor the truth

He can tell you - “not so vigorous next time my dear” and check for manual damage.

And everyone can go home happy.

Said lady – blushing
Said Doc with another war story to tell at the next medical conference

I have been here for too bloody long!!

It has been a while since I updated hasn’t it!

It is not due to the fact I have lost interest in my blog – so no issues with that.

It has a lot to do with the fact that for the last two weeks I have been putting in huge hours on site and when I get home I am buggered. I am fast asleep by half past nine and wide awake at 4 am.

Has the work been fun? I would love to say yes. But while I am enjoying myself, I have never been as frustrated as I am now. My poor lads on site realise that as well. Mainly because I have entered what I call “toy throw” mode.

I was doing financial work in preparation for month end two weeks ago, and was getting really frustrated with the slow accounting system we are forced to work with. It is not on our side, but on the South African side.

This is known as when I work over the weekend the system is acceptable as regards speed. Work during the week and it is slow as a snail at a railway crossing.

To get away from the frustrating situation, I decided to get out onto site and walk around for the hour it takes and come back refreshed. The first place I walked into on site was the large Biox tanks. When I see one of the lads sitting at the door to the tank appearing to be keeping watch, my interest is piqued. I walked up and realised that whoever had chosen this individual to keep a look out had chosen badly. The lad’s eyes went wide when he saw me and he appeared unable to move. The reason? 4 welders lying against the inside of the tank “chilling”.

Needless to say, I threw my toys out of the cot.

The rest of the walk around did not go well at all. It ended prematurely with Jerome coming down and suggesting I should go back to the office and relax. I took the suggestion.

And it continues. I am losing my temper for small silly things that normally I would happily resolve with a joke.

My poor mechanic was not given the chance to explain himself clearly on Thursday. My spare part for the 35 ton crane arrived – finally after six weeks – and he came in to try and say “he needed another spare part”. I lost it. We have been waiting six weeks for one spare part and now suddenly he needs “another spare part”.

It transpires that the other spare part was in Tarkwa and he was coming in to explain that he needed another spare part which was in Tarkwa. I did not let him get to the “which is in Tarkwa” part.

I did apologise once I realised I had not let him finish.


We did manage to get away this weekend to the Beach. It was a chilled weekend, on the beach under a Lapa with around 10 of the supervisors. We drank, burnt meat and fish on the fire and splashed in the water. In the evening we went to Takoradi and I was forced to listen to the worst band I have ever heard in my life. Forced due to the fact my trusty steed threw its water pump on the way to the Beach and was parked at the hotel waiting for a rescue crew on Monday. We got back at around 11 and chilled on the beach until around 1.

Sunday was a relaxed start when I crawled out of bed at 10 (after waking up at 6 and realising I could still sleep), relaxed as hell and joined the lads for a fish braai on the beach. Home by 3:30

A nice weekend hopelessly fucked up by some woman who was also at the beach and took offence to “our heavy drinking and carousing”. This offence was displayed by an email to every tom dick and harry at head office in SA.

Now suddenly I was required to do a “please explain” email to the powers that be, why we were “causing company image problems”

We have pulled the ring out of it at the Beach before. Boy have we pulled the ring out of it! The interesting part is that this weekend is possibly the quietest weekend I have ever had at Busua – party wise.

I can only but shake my head.

I have been in Ghana for too bloody long on this stint. And it is showing. In the worst possible way.

I am due home on the 13th and to say that I am counting every day would be incorrect. I am counting every hour!

Month end is now complete – with the exception of stuff that I am waiting from SA to tie up the recons. After that I can concentrate on site again – safe with the knowledge that Carl and Jeri are back on Tuesday and I do not have to get involved in stuff as much as I am involved now.

I am learning all about weird stuff, and am actually getting more comfortable reading drawings. Which in itself is a huge leap for a bean counter like me.

Ghana however is as happy as I am – They are suffering a HUGE water shortage in the Volta region. This despite the continual rain we get on our side of the country. The upshot of this water shortage is they are unable to generate power from their Hydro Scheme. Apparently the dam is at its lowest level in recorded history – since 1965 when the dam was built – and Ghana is now subject to a series of rolling power cuts.

Not that we would notice of course as we are used to power failures.

The problem extends however to large power users – the mines been a large power user – who have been requested to cut their power consumption by 50%.

Goldfields Tarkwa is using Gensets at an additional cost of $4 million per month. (as per their press release). This means they spend less money on upgrades and major repairs. Which impacts our business.

There does not seem to be any light in the tunnel until early next year, so we will watch developments with baited breath.

Most people already have diesel gensets at their house – we do not – so they will only be affected by larger costs each month as opposed to sitting in a hot and humid house, trying to sleep.

I need to get home!!

Demmet!!!