Update

The fact that I posted my last missive on the same day that I typed it meant that the system spontaniously started working around 1pm. Ever the optimist I am, I tried the accounting system once more before I packed up and went home and lo and behold........ the bloody thing worked!

So here I remain having wasted five hours doing the mundane stuff to spend another five hours doing the important stuff!

The fact that you are reading this means the Sat System is working

First Saturday back into the swing of things, and I must admit that a whole load of stuff has bounced around in my brain since I got back to the sprawling metro of Tarkwa.

Most of my 3 readers live in so called first world countries. (I am aware one of my regulars is in Morocco at the moment – but that does not count) , and we get used to certain things just been part of life.

I had occasion this week to have a long sit down with the Local Labour Officer, who is very passionate about the work that he does. He mentioned in passing that he had never traveled outside Ghana and showed me a passport (he carries it around with him???) that was issued in 1999 and has nary a stamp in it. I mean sheesh, if he was working in the same position in Swaziland, Botswana or Zambia, he would have at least attended ONE I.L.O conference. That got me thinking (as it does) as to what would be my idea of the world if I had only lived in Ghana. (more specifically the town of Tarkwa).

• My idea of what good communication is, would be totally different. The reason why I am writing my blog on a Saturday morning instead of the normal Sunday night is – once again – the communications to South Africa are not working. This is after they were down for almost two weeks earlier in the month and has been patchy ever since. I also have a phone line at the house which has not been working since – or before – I got back, and we still do not have cell phone reception at the office.
• Entertainment and what it entails would also be totally different. A large percentage of the local populace does not have electricity and as such would not be exposed on a daily basis to the joys of Television and DSTV. They rely mainly on the radio for communication and as I do not yet understand the local dialects, my ability to understand what is happening in the outside world is rather compromised. My ability is even more compromised currently as yesterday our DSTV was suspended due to the fact that instead of a month been a calendar month for our DTSV people, it runs to the 26th. As payment for February had not been made – I mean goodness my computer still tells me it is January – the dreaded E16 – your service is scrambled message appears on the TV and I have visions of missing the cricket this Sunday! A phone call to the local DSTV people confirms that we need to pay more money to watch TV, and the nice lady on the other end advises me that we need to pay in Accra, because if we pay their local agent here, it takes 3 working days before the system is re-activated. Consider that Accra is 6 hours by road and know that sending someone to pay in Accra is not quite an option. There are no debit orders such as I have for my DSTV in South Africa and as such problems like this occur.
• Shops such as I know – oh God how I loved my trips to Woolies and Pick n Pay when I was down South – do not exist in our wonderful town. We needed new tyres for two of the LDV’s that we own. The quotes I got were from “God is able enterprises” and “His Word enterprises”, both based in Tarkwa. I hope you see a pattern here. 90% (and that’s a figure where I am not exaggerating at all) of shops have some religious connotation to the name. Now I do have a friend is SA whose shop is called “His Word Bookshop” but that is because it IS a religious book store, and not a place that sells tyres. The tyres by the way were GHC 1.750.000 (ZAR 1.206 $ 201) each. For Dunlops! The Bridgestones were well over GHC2 million.
• The shops further sell everything and anything! The tyre shops also sold cigarettes and Booze. Couple that with vehicle spare parts and the odd bit of plumbing hardware and you understand where I am coming from. This is also a place where the local garage sells bread, ciggies, milk and beer. All the essentials one needs to survive.
• The amount of time it takes to get places and do things would not be an issue if I had stayed in Tarkwa all my life. Your average speed to outlying area’s in 60kmph (if you are lucky) and a trip from JHB to PTA would take an hour instead of the normal 30 minutes it currently takes. That was a bad example because I have just remembered the rush hour where it takes 90 minutes.
• I would not know what town planning is all about. I do understand that poor town planning is visible throughout Africa, but for some reason Tarkwa is high up on the list. The houses/shacks are just put up with no due regard for services or even that matter a small amount of aesthetics. There is only one road that gets from the east side to the west side and all other roads lead to this one road. Maybe I should call it the “Rome Road” as all roads do lead to Rome, do they not? The rubbish dump is a swamp next to the side of the road and has a very large troop of vultures that have made that source of carrion their home. There is a drain that runs the entire length of town, and that is considered a water source. I have on numerous occasions seen people stark naked bathing in the drain, which in itself is a rather interesting sight one does not see when driving down Eloff Street. What makes it a little more interesting is I have also seen people use the drain as the local toilet, sooooooo washing in the local sewerage pipe cannot in any way be considered hygienic can it?
• Piped water to the house would be considered a luxury if I had lived here all my life. Once again my house does not have water and only because there is no-one staying in the lower house was there sufficient water in their tank to enable me to have a shower this morning. But when you read the previous paragraph, I would consider myself lucky to be able to shower. Once again we make payment to the local fire department who will – no sirens blaring – deliver 5000 liters of river water for the sum of GHC 400.000 (R275 $45). Thinking about this for a moment, and I must really check when I drive through town if the drain mentioned above drains into that river that they get the water from…………..

I am sure I could go on and on, but hopefully dear reader you get the gist of where I am coming from. It is very much a matter of “there for the grace of God go I”

Now everyone who knows me, knows my feelings pertaining to the whole big company syndrome and how that syndrome allows little companies to exist. This morning was a perfect example of that syndrome.

Picture little Tones wondering into the office this morning, intent on finishing off the month end and doing all the goodies that had passed him by while he was living it up down south and getting regular sex.

The security man on seeing me jogs off to the corner of the land and starts up the generator that provides us with our electricity. The lights and air conditioners chug into life, and I turn on our satellite system in order to access the accounting system and email. Both of which are required to do my daily tasks.

As luck would have it – already mentioned above – the Ghana system is pissed off at the South African system and as any good wife would do, she is not talking to him. I really must stop that JHB system from staying out late and coming home pissed and wanting sex.

In my trusty cell phone, I have the number of the Satellite people who ostensibly provide us with service. I phone them – praising the good Lord above that the cell system is working. The nice man on the line tells me that I must phone another guy who is responsible for our system. I phone the other guy, who lo and behold listens to my problem and happily tells me not to worry he will log a call with the satellite people. I mean HELLO!!! Did I not just phone the people…. Would it not be easier for me just to have phoned them direct and logged the call instead of phoning some other guy who was driving in his car at the time, to phone them and log a call?

But the big company syndrome states the only person that can log a call is X. So you must live with it!

I duly get a phone call from the Sat company, and after a few questions I am told “Oh wait – we do not support your system. That system is supported by Y who lives in Ghana.”

I get told the reason why they do not support the sat system is because they cannot support a system so far out of Accra.

I duly phone Y who lives……….in ACCRA!!!!!

I give up – swear profusely- and hammer away at my blog entry – which can only be posted of course when the system is up and running again.





Resuming the blog a while later, I have now tidied my desk, completed all my filing and drunk two jugs of tea. I have also completed three quotes, cleaned my white board and twiddled my thumb. Oh yeah! I forgot to mention this is a pay weekend, so no-one is at work this weekend as they all scattered yesterday to spend their salaries.

That said. I am off home, to continue reading my book and maybe play a computer game or three.

Trust you all had a nice weekend and the smiles are upon you.

You have fun you hear!

Start of Stint Three

Well here I am, in a hotel room in transit on my way back to Tarkwa for another 11 week stint.

Did I enjoy my time in SA? You bet I did! It was wonderful to indulge myself a tad, spend time with the family (and my extended one) as well as see friends. Was most restful, and my loins are well girded for getting 2005 off to a good start.

The flight was uneventful, and empty! Although even with a spare seat next to me, I was still unable to sleep. The movie was not quiet something I would watch (Thunderbirds), so I delved into my book for the entire flight and killed off the latest Clive Cussler. Food was airline “chicken or Lamb” (I had the chicken) and was the usual bland fare, with the exception of the choccie. 

We were picked up by John – who was the same lad who took me down in December – and I was to meet up with Zak for a series of meetings tomorrow, before doing the “road of hell” back to Tarkwa. It appears however that Zak (and the entire team in Tarkwa) has been afflicted by the Ghana Lurgy and are sick. Seems like they lowered their defences after been down south. The arrangement that we had to stay in the Civils house in Accra fell through, ergo my opening statement about the hotel room.

A new hotel experience for me. Hotel Ado-do in Accra is a – very – basic hotel on the outskirts of town, where you are unable to open the bathroom door to the full width as it bumps against the bath. Getting to the toilet required an interesting shuffle comprising of open door until it bangs against the bath – squeeze in – close door – move to toilet. I have not quite worked out how the hot water comes out of the tap, but will do some CSI investigative stuff once I have finished penning the missive.

TV is a single channel, but on the positive side it has an aircon, and a little table next to a plug that I can plug my laptop in.

For some reason they also decided I was hungry and a knock on the door bought forth ½ a chicken and loads of chips. They were most disappointed when I indicated I was not hungry at all, and did not order any food. However I did place an order for an ash tray, as it appears these are not standard in the room. *chuckle*

Tomorrow is a 5am start in order to miss the traffic and get back to the office, and given the time difference it is the SA equivalent of 11pm here (9pm local time) and I am feeling the pinch. The one positive is 5am local time is 7am SA time, and should not be a major mission as regards the wake up. There are positive aspects to time differences of this nature.

Chatted to Nessers this evening – SMS’s are not working – and we both agreed we miss each other, but hey, only another 11 weeks to go which is not that bad. With me it is a lot easier, as I am quite capable of immersing myself in work and hopefully time will fly. Future missives will indicate if this is actually the case or not.

One of the more interesting aspects is our deadlines for this month are fairly tight, and I was having a gander at them before starting the missive. Given that everything has to be completed by Friday this week, I have an entire months work to complete in effectively two days!! Couple this with the fact we have new people starting and I have an office to open before the 1st of Feb, this promises to be a very! Very interesting first week.

Methinks it is time to chomp a choccie and enter the land of nod…. Let the work begin.


Oh yes, as an aside, 1 liter of Captains at the airport was R59.00, which when compared to the R89 that I paid for 750ml over xmas, means that a bargain of this nature could not be turned down. (that and a thousand ciggies will make sure that my vices are well catered for)

Come back soon you hear!

Missive from South Africa

The “official” start to the New Year is here! And for some silly reason I am spending my leave time in the office putting my little ducks in the cage so they can be placed in a row when I get back up north.

Been in the office is SA has certain advantages, one of them been connection speed to JDE and email is like lightening when compared to the speed I am used to in Ghana. Entering anything onto JDE is done with minimal time lag, and I can see a bit of swearing taking place when I get back to the slow steady sat speeds.

A negative? is with the smoking rules, I am unable to smoke in the building. Ergo, two things happen.

1. I slip outside and smoke ½ a ciggie really quickly
2. I am smoking 10 ciggies a day instead of 30.

I am trying to work out if this is positive or negative!

What have I done since arriving back from Ghana in mid December?

Well – let’s see.

1. Nessers collected me from the airport, dressed in a wonderful French maid outfit, which increased my heart rate as well as all the red blooded males collecting people from the flights that were landing. There were a few ribald comments passed as we made our way to the parking!
2. Had lunch with Keith and Sam on my day of arrival, but given the fact that I cannot sleep on the flight, it was rather relaxed with my succumbing to the inevitable “afternoon nap” after a few drinks.
3. Xmas was a family day, which was really great and I cooked up a storm with a medley of meats, salads and even veggies. (it was great to go shopping before the fact and I really went over the top at pick and pay and woolies!!!)
4. Off to Durban for 10 days and carried out mums last wishes as to the disposal of her ashes and generally chilled in really hot and humid conditions for the whole time there. We did not cook much at all, besides nuking the odd pizza and making bacon sarmies. It was all take out and restaurant food and that showed on the waist when I returned. I pigged out on the taste sensations of Lamb Curry from La Mercy Hotel, Mugg and Bean food which is always stunning and too much, Nandos’ (a few times) and the Fish Company. Food did play a big role in the trip!
5. New years eve was spent (sober!) and on the beach in Umhlanga Rocks, parting to a DJ who had set up on the beach and getting our feet wet once ever so often. Loads of fireworks – poor dogs – and a very fine way to see the old year out and the new year in. It has been a while since I woke up on the 1st of Jan sans a hangover, but with the cops on the road it is just not worth the risk of driving under the influence.
6. Robbers 21st was on the 6th, and he got taken to a pub that night and we all did our best to ensure he would not remember the evening. He got suitably ratted and “his legs were numb”. His recall is limited and he did not puke in the car – which was a good thing. Dad remained responsible and supped on single captains the entire eve, so was not ratted on the drive home.
7. Cause Robbers had fun, we decided to repeat the party at my place on the Saturday which was a load more fun. 268 photos to prove it, and one could see the inhibitions been lowered rapidly as the evening wore on. These pics are filed in a well hidden place. *chuckle*

And that dear friends is what the leave has been like to date. You will notice I have not mentioned the loads of sex I have been having. That’s cause I do not want to make you jealous!!! I have slowed down in the last week (old age you understand), but will be picking up the pace now that the festive season has left us and I am due back in two weeks. Need to build up credits for the next three month stint – scary when your sex life is blocks.

Have a fun one!

Happy New Year

Here I am - down in SA, having just spent a wonderful 10 days at the coast just chilling. FANTASTIC!!! (Oh yeah - with a whole load of nookie as well *chuckle*).

Happy new year to you all - back in Ghana on the 24th - but will try and get a post in before then to update everyone as to what I have been doing over the last few weeks.