The reason why I am sure God is a man.
The realm of a Gynecologist has always been on of mystery to me. For obvious reasons.
Woman in general however do not enjoy them, and always mention how intrusive they can be. Many hanker after woman Gynaes or tall dark and handsome ones.
Plus you cannot have any nookie with a woman for at least a week before she visits the Gynae “cause he/she/it will know we have sex”. Hello!! You are 36 years old. Single and shaggable. Of course you are having sex demmet. Loads and loads of good sex!!
That said.
The reason we know God is a man, is mainly due to the almighty (sic) fark up he made when designing womans bits. An entire industry has spawned off womans bits.
Why am I writing about this?
Well! A certain person who shall remain nameless – but knows who she is – had a tale to tell which had me rolling around the floor. Tears in my eyes. Slapping my sides
Picture this.
Said lady has not had nookie for a while.
Said lady has genuine needs that we all have when the nookie has dried up (so to speak)
Said lady one evening hauls out lube and “Hugo”. Hugo is a well endowed “massager”
Said lady proceeds to use Hugo as he was designed – veins and all
A few good orgasms later. Satisfied smile on face, said lady removes Hugo.
(it gets a tad Gory from here)
Blood is noticed
“Oh good – my period is early”
Scene Fade to next day.
“Oh Shite - no more blood…. That was not my period”
Scene fade to Doctors Rooms
Doctor What Happened?
Said Lady Was having nookie and we noticed blood (We…. When did it become a we???)
Now what ever happened to the old adage “You can trust your doctor with your life”
You can do that – but cannot tell the Doc that you were banging away with your favorite sex toy and possibly were a bit vigorous with the “harder, deeper faster, pinch my nipples” side of the equation.
Why are you ladies so embarrassed about using sex toys. Everyone does it! And I mean Everyone!!!!
Tis the 21st century
Woman are emancipated
Sex is spoken about freely
But we must tell the Doc fibs. Cause we a bit embarrassed. *chuckle*
The upshot:
Said lady sent for a pregnancy test, blood test and placed on AntiB’s for a possible infection.
The moral of the story is: Tell the Doctor the truth
He can tell you - “not so vigorous next time my dear” and check for manual damage.
And everyone can go home happy.
Said lady – blushing
Said Doc with another war story to tell at the next medical conference
Woman in general however do not enjoy them, and always mention how intrusive they can be. Many hanker after woman Gynaes or tall dark and handsome ones.
Plus you cannot have any nookie with a woman for at least a week before she visits the Gynae “cause he/she/it will know we have sex”. Hello!! You are 36 years old. Single and shaggable. Of course you are having sex demmet. Loads and loads of good sex!!
That said.
The reason we know God is a man, is mainly due to the almighty (sic) fark up he made when designing womans bits. An entire industry has spawned off womans bits.
Why am I writing about this?
Well! A certain person who shall remain nameless – but knows who she is – had a tale to tell which had me rolling around the floor. Tears in my eyes. Slapping my sides
Picture this.
Said lady has not had nookie for a while.
Said lady has genuine needs that we all have when the nookie has dried up (so to speak)
Said lady one evening hauls out lube and “Hugo”. Hugo is a well endowed “massager”
Said lady proceeds to use Hugo as he was designed – veins and all
A few good orgasms later. Satisfied smile on face, said lady removes Hugo.
(it gets a tad Gory from here)
Blood is noticed
“Oh good – my period is early”
Scene Fade to next day.
“Oh Shite - no more blood…. That was not my period”
Scene fade to Doctors Rooms
Doctor What Happened?
Said Lady Was having nookie and we noticed blood (We…. When did it become a we???)
Now what ever happened to the old adage “You can trust your doctor with your life”
You can do that – but cannot tell the Doc that you were banging away with your favorite sex toy and possibly were a bit vigorous with the “harder, deeper faster, pinch my nipples” side of the equation.
Why are you ladies so embarrassed about using sex toys. Everyone does it! And I mean Everyone!!!!
Tis the 21st century
Woman are emancipated
Sex is spoken about freely
But we must tell the Doc fibs. Cause we a bit embarrassed. *chuckle*
The upshot:
Said lady sent for a pregnancy test, blood test and placed on AntiB’s for a possible infection.
The moral of the story is: Tell the Doctor the truth
He can tell you - “not so vigorous next time my dear” and check for manual damage.
And everyone can go home happy.
Said lady – blushing
Said Doc with another war story to tell at the next medical conference
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