Group Five 1 - De Simone 2
In the small town of Bogoso – Western Region Ghana, on the local cabbage patch masquerading as a soccer field, the Group Five team were put to the sword by a resurgent De Simone team.
The ref was professional, they players were not!
I should have realised we were on a hiding to nothing when our hired strip turned out to be England colours. England NEVER win an important game, and this was important. The opposition had hired a Bayern Munich strip, who have had a whole load of better luck winning games over the last year.
If I say the field was a cabbage patch. It had some grass, a lot of sand and – I kid you not – the lines were made out of CONCRETE!!
Goal Keepers in Ghana are wiry people. They must be as I dragged the Small jersey onto my Extra Large tummy. I looked like Bozo the clown.
It was apt – I played like Bozo the clown.
The last time I played in Goal was when I was in Primary School. It has been a long time since I was in primary school. It showed.
I was – fortunately – only on the field for 15 minutes.
I was hungover – refer previous post – and I managed to catch the ball 3 times.
The one cross floated from the right, and Bozo the clown made like Peter Shilton and rushed across to pluck the cross from the air.
That was the plan
The execution was somewhat different.
The execution resulted in my mind thinking “Oh Fuck, I am never going to get there in time” My heart made me try harder, my age made me get the tip of my fingers to the ball.
I stood like a spectator as the ball bounced in front of an opposing player, was crossed back and bounced around as my defence tried vainly to play without a goalkeeper who was now stranded 10 meters away.
The ball bounced off the cross bar, and I started to move towards the melee of players, with one thought in mind. “This is going to hurt”
Fortunately for me – unfortunately for the team, my defence failed dismally to hold the ball up until Bozo lumbered over to claim it. 1 – 0
And I could smell the captains coming from my pores
Team Management made a wonderful decision 5 minutes later and replaced me with a 5’ lad who proved to be a whole lot more capable than me.
The scene was wonderful though. The entire workforce of both company’s as well as 60% of Bogoso town were there. Around 500 people in all. Goodness that is a better crowd than the Golden Lions are getting at Ellis Park!
The referee was good, even though his idea of a half in Footy was 60 minutes.
The crowd cheered, the crowd roared and a little man ran up and down the touch time commentating into his cell phone.
Apparently the match was broadcast live on Tarkwa Radio.
When we scored the equalizer in the second half, the field was invaded by our supporters. No wait the field was invaded by all the supporters. The ref was berated by the opposition who felt the goal was unfairly awarded, and our gladiators were mobbed by our proud lads.
Score 1-1
5 minutes later the opposition took a speculative shot from midway between the halfway line and goal line and our poor keeper watched the ball sail over his head without moving.
Score 2-1
We were devastated!
Around 5 minutes from the end of the game, a player got sent off. The fields was once again invaded, but this time, the ref was subject to loads of abuse and supporters and players alike got involved in an almighty rumble.
It was great
Goals on each side, a fight, and a load of fun had by all.
Would have been better if we won – but hey. Nice way to spend a Sunday.
The best part was we had started a Lamb Vindaloo at 12am that morning. It had bubbled the entire day and that night we tucked into a great curry.
I was a hoppy lad!!
The ref was professional, they players were not!
I should have realised we were on a hiding to nothing when our hired strip turned out to be England colours. England NEVER win an important game, and this was important. The opposition had hired a Bayern Munich strip, who have had a whole load of better luck winning games over the last year.
If I say the field was a cabbage patch. It had some grass, a lot of sand and – I kid you not – the lines were made out of CONCRETE!!
Goal Keepers in Ghana are wiry people. They must be as I dragged the Small jersey onto my Extra Large tummy. I looked like Bozo the clown.
It was apt – I played like Bozo the clown.
The last time I played in Goal was when I was in Primary School. It has been a long time since I was in primary school. It showed.
I was – fortunately – only on the field for 15 minutes.
I was hungover – refer previous post – and I managed to catch the ball 3 times.
The one cross floated from the right, and Bozo the clown made like Peter Shilton and rushed across to pluck the cross from the air.
That was the plan
The execution was somewhat different.
The execution resulted in my mind thinking “Oh Fuck, I am never going to get there in time” My heart made me try harder, my age made me get the tip of my fingers to the ball.
I stood like a spectator as the ball bounced in front of an opposing player, was crossed back and bounced around as my defence tried vainly to play without a goalkeeper who was now stranded 10 meters away.
The ball bounced off the cross bar, and I started to move towards the melee of players, with one thought in mind. “This is going to hurt”
Fortunately for me – unfortunately for the team, my defence failed dismally to hold the ball up until Bozo lumbered over to claim it. 1 – 0
And I could smell the captains coming from my pores
Team Management made a wonderful decision 5 minutes later and replaced me with a 5’ lad who proved to be a whole lot more capable than me.
The scene was wonderful though. The entire workforce of both company’s as well as 60% of Bogoso town were there. Around 500 people in all. Goodness that is a better crowd than the Golden Lions are getting at Ellis Park!
The referee was good, even though his idea of a half in Footy was 60 minutes.
The crowd cheered, the crowd roared and a little man ran up and down the touch time commentating into his cell phone.
Apparently the match was broadcast live on Tarkwa Radio.
When we scored the equalizer in the second half, the field was invaded by our supporters. No wait the field was invaded by all the supporters. The ref was berated by the opposition who felt the goal was unfairly awarded, and our gladiators were mobbed by our proud lads.
Score 1-1
5 minutes later the opposition took a speculative shot from midway between the halfway line and goal line and our poor keeper watched the ball sail over his head without moving.
Score 2-1
We were devastated!
Around 5 minutes from the end of the game, a player got sent off. The fields was once again invaded, but this time, the ref was subject to loads of abuse and supporters and players alike got involved in an almighty rumble.
It was great
Goals on each side, a fight, and a load of fun had by all.
Would have been better if we won – but hey. Nice way to spend a Sunday.
The best part was we had started a Lamb Vindaloo at 12am that morning. It had bubbled the entire day and that night we tucked into a great curry.
I was a hoppy lad!!
1 Comments:
This post was a good chuckle. :lol: I'm impressed you played while having a hangover and didn't get a heartattack ;)
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