An IT guy who loves his Job

We have been having IT issues lately.

It is month end and I am trying to do my reports. Besides not having access to certain reports, I finally got access to my procurement and this email followed from me to the Helpdesk.

Good day (once again)

I have attached my spreadsheet – data imported from Purchase over listing projects BU – CSV.

In G921 a little china man has spilt his Chinese copy of war and peace.

Would this be just a matter of ignoring the little china man and hope he goes away – or could this be the start of the Chinese Take over of the world and in that cell there is a hidden message which tells us when it is all going to happen?

Your time is required to allay my Chinese fears – and possibly save the world from a decade of poor Shrimp Foo Yong.

Regards

The response however floored me!

CAS-34713-DMBPGO will be handled by our foremost boerekos warrior because nothing is worse than a decade of bad Shrimp Foo Wong.
The case number above will give you access to all battle information should the Chinese advance.
The battle control center is available 24 hours a day seven days a week on 011-806-0266.
Please feel free to make use of our service anytime you may require it.


Kind regards
Kevin



Kevin! You Biscuit! I know the IT lads are under loads of pressure with all the kak, and to have a sense of humour such as that is – takes balls!!

Weekend Off!

Well I finally managed to get away for the weekend!

It did help having a new financial guy who I could happily say to at 12 on Friday “Please process the following stuff” *wicked chuckle*

Zack arranged our weekend at MieMia which is a place we have heard of often but never managed to visit. Owned by an expat who used to work for Goldfields, decided to go on his own and as a sideline opened up a set of chalets. This with Boat, paddle ski’s and the like.

I got my directions from Zack – at the barrier turn left down a dirt road. Zack surprisingly did not follow his own directions and turned left at the police barrier as opposed to the customs barrier. He ended up in a village called “New York City”.

15km of 4x4 dirt road we ran into a wonderful bay with a fishing village out of the 1900’s Finding the way through the village was interesting as there was no road. You kinda found the widest spot between the stick and mud houses and kept on going.

MieMia has 5 chalets each sleeping 6. On the beach (and I mean literally on the beach) with warm water and soft surf.

Stunning is the only word for it!!

We drank a whole load, lay in the sea at midnight floating glasses and seeing which glasses came together. Rudie giving a monologue on how the two glasses represented marriage – you get the picture. Food was great. Chicken, ribs and Rice/ Salads from the nice lady who runs the place. She loaned us her chef and sound system for the weekend. Hospitality!

Some of the lads hired a local fishing boat for the morning and went fishing. They bought back 4 fish which after a lot of drinks, they admitted that their fishing was not good so they stopped at another fishing boat and purchased the fish that he had caught. Which ever way they got it – Okkie cooks up a mean fish on the coals.

We also managed to score some Crayfish (R50 a kg) and had a fish braai of note.

Did I say we drank a lot…… You know what it is like when you are drinking cappies and coke and you drink too much coke. I ended the evening drinking Captain Coffee’s as the coke was giving me a sugar rush of note. (and I had Hic cups)

One also does foolish things like take out the paddle ski’s at some god forsaken hour of the night and lie on the ski’s looking at the stars. Strange stuff we do when we are relaxing.

Rained on Sunday morning – which meant we did very little but clean up and set off for the cage once again.

We did play golf in the afternoon. (I did OK) and watched the Man U – Chelsea game. I swore a lot in the second half…..

Early to bed and I must admit I started work yesterday morning more relaxed than I have been in a long time.

Heres to the next trip!

John Mhlanga

“Life is but a stranger passing us by”

That line was coined to me by one of my lads when we were advised that one of our guys – John Mhlanga - had passed away as a result of a taxi accident in South Africa.

John was an amazing lad. Very little formal schooling, a temperament that made me smile and above all fucking good at what he did. He was a legend at Group Five and everyone knew if you wanted to build thickeners and tanks, John was your man!

I first met him just over 2 years ago when a contract was coming to an end and I needed a top notch boilermaker. He refused the position as in his words “I am part of a team and we all go together”. Say that sort of stuff to me and I want someone like that even more.

It took me almost 18 months, but we eventually got John onto our Ghana team. The start was inauspicious as he clashed with my sup and after 6 weeks John came to me and said he wanted to go home. I told him to take a break and come back after the break when I had resolved his issues. He came back and the rest is history. John was loved by the local guys cause he actually taught them. Hard and Fair and little patience for lazyness.

“Tell the white man to leave me alone and let me build my thickeners”

That was the statement that made John the person he was. He built his thickeners and the bridges slotted in with no modifications required at all. The “white man” was impressed.

John worked for his children. He recognized that education was the key to a better life and made sure all his kids were well educated. The all went to University and as he said to me one day “their lives will be better than mine”

I have on my desk a form giving him an increase. I also have his hours for the month. A reminder that life is indeed a stranger passing us by.

Hamba Kahle John.

Another day - another coconut

A chance to update has arrived!

First off – we all went off to Obuasi to play in the Group Five golf day on Sunday.

Zack was kind enough to get us a late Tee off time so we did not have to leave the house before 7am. Jeri is not a morning person and already was grumpy before the drive. Her golf on the first nine confirmed that mornings are not strong in her life.

I am not sure who arranges a medal game on a company sponsored day, but they did.

I had never played the Obuasi course and I knew it was going to be interesting when the people vanished over the hill on the first and I proceeded to drive a wonderful straight shot over the hill. The starter ran over and kaked all over me for not waiting for the people to vacate the green.

Erm – “This is a par 4” I mentioned – “I hit it long – but not that long”. It was a par 4. I checked the card – 297m. I came over the hill and my ball was some 30m from the green. Par.

The course was dead short. I drove like a demon. I scored a 91 Gross – on MEDAL!!

Jeri coined the phrase – “Adventure Golf Course on steroids”

For some reason who ever designed the course did not take into account that it is not good form to place a tee in a position where in order to make the next fairway you are driving over the green you just left. There were a lot of “Fore” shouted and balls flying all over the place.

I played well and took the honors off Alwin who kinda fell apart at the 15th after leading by 1 shot after 9. I beat him by 6. I scored a Net 67 and won the tournament. I was however disqualified from taking home a prize due to the fact I was the sponsor. Bummer if you ask me.

I have managed to catch up most of my stuff over the last week. Which is positive!!

However. It appears that some guy pushed the wrong button at head office and destroyed the mail server. The managed to recover it after a day or so, but what has now happened is my offline folder and online folder is out of synch. The net result is my mail system is as slow as a dog and falls over most of the time. Ergo mail has been patchy to say the least.

I have being cursing!

But….. it does not help.

Other than that – life goes on.

Oh yes! I got promoted!

Hope you all smiling!

I think I am