Healthy, Wealthy and Wise
I am big on annual checkups
Now that I am a big peanut, the company insists that all big peanuts go on a company sponsored medical.
The benefit to them I spose is they get to see how (un)healthy their peanuts are and who is taking “recreational drugs” (That was one of the questions).
Now I go for a medical every year.
My big thing in life is
- Too see how my smoking affects my lungs
- To ensure that my prostate is on good nick so I can have maximum shag time
- To ensure my liver weathers the storm that it is periodically subject to
Therefore it was no surprise that the following information was given to me.
- You smoke too much. But your lungs are in good nick so if you stop smoking today all the damage will be repaired over the next 30 years.
- You are unfit, but for your age you are above the 80% fitness range. My suggestion to them is their range needs looking into. I managed 9 minutes on the treadmill before my heart rate hit 158bpm
- You are overweight. The term they used was “clinically obese” My ideal weight: <84kg. Well fark me with a rotten cucumber. The last time I saw that weight was 10 years ago. We agreed that I should be below 94kg to only be overweight. Ergo I need to lose 6kg to only be considered overweight.
- Your prostate is fine. Happy hooray. The check was done by a woman doctor with thinner fingers than my GP. When someone is digging around your ring, thinner fingers are a definite positive. I must admit if she had dug around any longer, I would have had to ask her out on a date.
- My bet with the insurance company that I will die before they say I will die is not working well. I am generally a healthy bugger for my age and the abuse I put my poor little body through.
So I start another medical year, happy and well.
Oh yes and my Cholesterol is marginal. Which is fine given my eating habits.
Hehe
Now that I am a big peanut, the company insists that all big peanuts go on a company sponsored medical.
The benefit to them I spose is they get to see how (un)healthy their peanuts are and who is taking “recreational drugs” (That was one of the questions).
Now I go for a medical every year.
My big thing in life is
- Too see how my smoking affects my lungs
- To ensure that my prostate is on good nick so I can have maximum shag time
- To ensure my liver weathers the storm that it is periodically subject to
Therefore it was no surprise that the following information was given to me.
- You smoke too much. But your lungs are in good nick so if you stop smoking today all the damage will be repaired over the next 30 years.
- You are unfit, but for your age you are above the 80% fitness range. My suggestion to them is their range needs looking into. I managed 9 minutes on the treadmill before my heart rate hit 158bpm
- You are overweight. The term they used was “clinically obese” My ideal weight: <84kg. Well fark me with a rotten cucumber. The last time I saw that weight was 10 years ago. We agreed that I should be below 94kg to only be overweight. Ergo I need to lose 6kg to only be considered overweight.
- Your prostate is fine. Happy hooray. The check was done by a woman doctor with thinner fingers than my GP. When someone is digging around your ring, thinner fingers are a definite positive. I must admit if she had dug around any longer, I would have had to ask her out on a date.
- My bet with the insurance company that I will die before they say I will die is not working well. I am generally a healthy bugger for my age and the abuse I put my poor little body through.
So I start another medical year, happy and well.
Oh yes and my Cholesterol is marginal. Which is fine given my eating habits.
Hehe
1 Comments:
80% fit, but clinically obese. Interesting and scary that you only need to loose 6kg's to just be, um, overweight ;)
I thought they no longer needed to do the finger test for the prostate? Is it like in the movies with latex gloves and KY?
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