Women and their Secrets
This weekend the Nessers took me to a Spa.
Mgwanani Health Spa near the Hennop’s River Valley to be exact.
Now I fully understand why woman go to spa’s
A day of pampering. My skin was subject to scraping with salt, sugar and little balls of fully stuff.
I was liberally coated with almond oil, sweet oil, funny smelling oil and rose smelling washes.
We could drink fruit juice, water and coffee at will.
More details?
Pick up at 7am from Monte Casino. Champers and Orange Juice before you board the bus and fill out your little forms that say you cannot sue, lists your medical conditions (mine was “Just a little mad”) and say if you want Hard, Soft or Medium massages.
I must admit, strike 1 came from having less legroom on the bus then you get from SAA to India. I managed to capture the door seat that resolved this problem, but come on people! Buy a bus that can be used for adults as opposed to 5-year-old toddlers.
Greeted by Drums and singing at the spa as well as a health breakfast of Yoggie and Meusli. Nice scones and honey, coffee and juice.
Nice lady who came around, gave us the program for the day and we started with a full body massage with hot stones as a finale. 45 minutes of that and I was already relaxed. My mouth had a slack feeling to it and I stumbled back to the table supping water.
Next came the foot massage. Creamy sugar to scrape away all the bad stuff and oils to put back in the good stuff. Once again, my mind slipped into a place normally accessed after a visit to paradise in Ghana.
Next up was the head massage and the only laugh I got of the day when the lass doing the head massage read about my mental health problem. The fact they used oil on my head meant I came back from that treatment looking like an Italian Mafia runner.
Lunch was a chicken wrap, red wine and vegetables that I left to Nessers.
After lunch was the facial where I came oh so close to falling asleep as all sorts of oils and creams were lathered on my face and I lay for around 20 minutes letting it all settle in. I would have snored J
Full body exfoliation with coarse salt. We had an option of Mielie Meal, but given all the starving kids in Africa decided to go with the salt. It was a messy business, Nessers bursting into laughter as the salt tickled her feet and my keeping quiet as my skin was liberally scraped from my body. Not a pleasant experience but not an unpleasant one either.
We gave the Jacuzzi a miss, Nessers went to shower and I went to lie in the shade, smoke and read the Saturday Star, which they had kindly laid on.
The finale was a hand treatment, which was identical to the foot treatment – except they did it on your hands of course.
Cheese Snacks and Amarula closed the day.
The ride back was in the white Combi where leg room was not an issue. The driver was a lad helping out and it turned out he made his living shooting animal documentaries in Africa. He was off to some strange African country to shoot chimps the next week. Nessers was enamoured and I could hear her ovaries clap. Chuckle
We went off to the Barnyard to watch Celtic Rock – which was not bad at all – and tucked into some sushi and a nice bottle of Fat Bastard Chardonnay.
Asleep by 10……………………..
Will I go back to the Spa?
Damn right I will.
Very nice way to relax.
Mgwanani Health Spa near the Hennop’s River Valley to be exact.
Now I fully understand why woman go to spa’s
A day of pampering. My skin was subject to scraping with salt, sugar and little balls of fully stuff.
I was liberally coated with almond oil, sweet oil, funny smelling oil and rose smelling washes.
We could drink fruit juice, water and coffee at will.
More details?
Pick up at 7am from Monte Casino. Champers and Orange Juice before you board the bus and fill out your little forms that say you cannot sue, lists your medical conditions (mine was “Just a little mad”) and say if you want Hard, Soft or Medium massages.
I must admit, strike 1 came from having less legroom on the bus then you get from SAA to India. I managed to capture the door seat that resolved this problem, but come on people! Buy a bus that can be used for adults as opposed to 5-year-old toddlers.
Greeted by Drums and singing at the spa as well as a health breakfast of Yoggie and Meusli. Nice scones and honey, coffee and juice.
Nice lady who came around, gave us the program for the day and we started with a full body massage with hot stones as a finale. 45 minutes of that and I was already relaxed. My mouth had a slack feeling to it and I stumbled back to the table supping water.
Next came the foot massage. Creamy sugar to scrape away all the bad stuff and oils to put back in the good stuff. Once again, my mind slipped into a place normally accessed after a visit to paradise in Ghana.
Next up was the head massage and the only laugh I got of the day when the lass doing the head massage read about my mental health problem. The fact they used oil on my head meant I came back from that treatment looking like an Italian Mafia runner.
Lunch was a chicken wrap, red wine and vegetables that I left to Nessers.
After lunch was the facial where I came oh so close to falling asleep as all sorts of oils and creams were lathered on my face and I lay for around 20 minutes letting it all settle in. I would have snored J
Full body exfoliation with coarse salt. We had an option of Mielie Meal, but given all the starving kids in Africa decided to go with the salt. It was a messy business, Nessers bursting into laughter as the salt tickled her feet and my keeping quiet as my skin was liberally scraped from my body. Not a pleasant experience but not an unpleasant one either.
We gave the Jacuzzi a miss, Nessers went to shower and I went to lie in the shade, smoke and read the Saturday Star, which they had kindly laid on.
The finale was a hand treatment, which was identical to the foot treatment – except they did it on your hands of course.
Cheese Snacks and Amarula closed the day.
The ride back was in the white Combi where leg room was not an issue. The driver was a lad helping out and it turned out he made his living shooting animal documentaries in Africa. He was off to some strange African country to shoot chimps the next week. Nessers was enamoured and I could hear her ovaries clap. Chuckle
We went off to the Barnyard to watch Celtic Rock – which was not bad at all – and tucked into some sushi and a nice bottle of Fat Bastard Chardonnay.
Asleep by 10……………………..
Will I go back to the Spa?
Damn right I will.
Very nice way to relax.
5 Comments:
Spas are nice and a massage is always good I have them every week though I feel no need to keep it a secret.
Thai is a favorite or a sensual aromatherapy or my male blind masseur when my shoulders hurt, he asks me to turn on my back reassuring me he really is blind.
Or a Thai female, her massage is so sensual it even makes me slightly wet wanting her to touch just a little further up my thigh even though I am not bisexual.
My question Antoine is really, did the massage turn you on?
Nope Caroline;
Was a very above board place and I had shorts on all the time.
The lasses that did the treatments were really not my type as well
*grin*
The girl that did my massage was also not my type.
Would you not say that if someone touches you I a certain way it can turn you on even though they are not attractive?
Not really.
I generally find that in order to be turned on, I need to be attracted to the lass on a physical or mental level AND the act of sex should be a (remote or otherwise) possibility. Otherwise it is purely flirting or teasing which in general would not cause me to perk up.
I could go to a strip show and be attracted to the lass, see her as nature intended and still not be perked as the act of sex will not happen.
But then again - I am a strange lad ;)
No you are not strange. It is me whois oversexed
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