Planning and airports!

Somewhere along the line my planning has gone for a ball of shit.

Last week – DRC
Weekend Home
Week – Mali
No Weekend home as I land at 12 at OR Tambo and depart at 4 from OR Tambo for Australia.
No Weekend Home but I do get a weekend in Sydney
Week in Mozambique
No Weekend Home
Week at Home
Back to the DRC

That’s really shit planning in my book!

Of course Air Kenya is delayed from Nairobi to Bamako for 4 hours. Nairobi Airport does not permit smoking on the premises. Insert further swearword here.

Fortunately Kenya does not require South African Passport Holders to have a Visa and you can fill out a form, get your passport stamped, wander outside, have your ciggie and complete the form fill, passport stamp to get back into the airport. I do pity the Pom’s who have to form out $20 for a Visa so they can have a ciggie.

Maybe someone in the know should realize that when you market Kenya as an African Hub and fully +50% of your passengers are in transit, it would be a nice touch to make arrangements for us smokers.

I actually had my passport stamped in/out twice as due to the extended delay I wandered outside to smoke again. I did however stay outside until the new departure time of our flight. We did try to have breakfast at the restaurant outside the airport, but they had run out of eggs. A replacement was Bangers and Chips.

As I sit here in the airport in Bamako on my way back to SA, with my new mini laptop, six hours advertised battery life, Air Kenya is once again delayed.

The fun part?

Look above! I have 1 hour 30 mins to make my connecting flight to OR Tambo from the now much loved Nairobi Airport. This will mean – no ciggie assuming we actually make the connection.

14 hours without a smoke? I will be the picture of happiness when (If) I land at OR Tambo, to be faced with a further 16 hours on the flight to Aussie.

And people say Travel is fun?

On the plus side – if I do land in time and all goes well – I may get lucky
*wicked chuckle*

Another reason to like site

There is always a fun side to going out on site. My trip to Mali bought out that fun side in a big way.

The main reason is the team that is on site. There are two Cape Colored lads – Site Manager and Site Superintendent – who have worked together for a while and who I always consider as Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Peas in a pod. I worked with both the guys – at different times – during my stay in Ghana.

Okkie, after a good few local and imported brews mentioned to us that he is afflicted by a site illness that strikes often called piles. For gods sake we had one of our guys on site sent home for piles. However Okkie was about to go home on R&R. R&R in Mali is a mission due to an 8 hour road trip, 7 hour flight, 4 hour flight.

Therefore if you are afflicted by the dreaded ‘roids, facing a lengthy time sitting on a sore poepoel is something that you do not look forward to. Alvin offered Ok’s his “mothers” solution which was “Okkie, why do you not use toothpaste”. Okkie obviously did not have this trick played on him when he was at school and happily that morning, singing “Sarie Marais” in the shower applied a liberal amount of Colgate to the offending grapes.

What surprised me was the effect of the Colgate only snuck in while he was saying goodbye to the lads on site.

“Alvin, my poepoel brand man”

“Het jy rerig die toothpaste anngesit?” (Shock in voice)

‘Ja man – jy’t gese” (worried voice)

When Alvin started falling over with tears in his eyes. Okkie knew he was in Shit – so to speak:

Apparently he gapped it to the room and attempted to wash off all the offending Colgate before his eyes bulged too far out of his head.

(By this stage the whole room where we were drinking were in tears of laughter as well)

It however got better.

By the time Okkie reached the first large town – some three hours from site – his ass was really giving him uphill. He asked the driver – Justice – to find a chemist and stop suddenly.

Said Chemist found Okkie ran in with a clenched ass and obtained some ointment from the lady behind the counter.

Most people would have had an issue on the application of the ointment. Ultra Cities do not abound in Mali. If you read my first trip to Mali story, you would note that toilets do not abound.

Not a problem to our Oks. He drops his pants in the main road and bends over. Reaching back he hands the tube to Justice.

“Sit the ointment on my ass” he demands

“Nooooooooooooo Mr. Okkie” is the startled response of Justice”

“Sit die fokken shit aan” Okkie cries – in obvious discomfort.

(By this stage we are rolling around the floor. I always knew there had to be a reason why Justice does not speak much on this contract. The site of a Managers Roids in the main road of Sikasso will do that to a man)

Did Justice apply the ointment?

I have no idea

I do not want to know

I REALLY do not want to know!!


And that dear reader, is why I love going to site!

Travel Hell Month

What has yours truly been doing this month?

Travelling:-

What will yours truly be doing for the rest of the Month?

Travelling :-

After the normal week of Recons and meetings, intimate time with numerous airlines appears to be on the cards for me.

Last week was the DRC.

We did however manage to jump on a client charter flight direct to Kolwezi. This was as opposed to the SA Airlink to Lumamashi, 5 hour wait and then Scary Airy to Kolwezi. The one downside was a 5:30 am start at Lanseria.

The flight was great. It was a 737-200 combi with 54 seats and cargo in the front. Nice food. I managed to sleep given the early wake up. The fact the flight was not full meant I had a three seater to myself and I made full advantage of the additonal space :)

2h45 min flight.

The landing was a gas as the pilot flew along the run way line looking for pot holes. This at around 300ft with a turn right and 180 left which would have done a F15 pilot proud. Never thought a 737 could stand on a wing like that!

Normal work stuff in the DRC. Two days of shouting and meetings and back to the airport on Friday am.

Our lad got the time wrong and we were told to be at the airport at 8h30. There was a Danish Lass at the hotel who flew up with us and when we rushed off to get to the airport on time, she was casually going through her breakfast. She laughed when I told her we were off to the airport and said she will be there at 10am.

Turns out she was right and we hung around the airport chatting and smoking until 11:45 when the plane took off.

DRC continues to be - in my mind - the most corrupt country in Africa. Everyone is on the take or wants to be on the take. The latest issue was my visa was issued on the 19th March and "had to be used within 3 weeks". The fact it is a one month visa was academic according to the short immigration lad who was refusing to issue an exit visa. Of course $50 would have resolved this immediatly. Our local Site lad resolved the issue.

Flight cannot take off or land with full fuel so the return journey was via Ndola for a pit stop. 3h15 on the way back.

Lanseria was a cluster fuck with the airline taking all the passports on take off and a mob of people waiting for their name to be called at immigration. Why people can not just carry their own passports is beyond me.

That said Lanseria has grown up nicely and is a modern small airport.


It is Lisa's birthday this week, so as I am not here, her restuarant of choice was Butcher Shop in Sandton. Robbie was off to a housewarming with mates and did not join. Food was good - as expected - and I managed to polish off a very good bottle of Fleur de Cap Merlot.

Loadshedding hit us - refer previous post - and I was actually fast asleep before power came back on at 10. I did however wake up at 4am. *sigh*

Today is a chill day with a nice roast planned for lunch - first Sunday Lunch I am cooking in a while - and packing for my next trip. Mali.

Land next week Sunday at 12 and get back on the plane the same day at 4 for Australia.

Going to be fun as regards time zones in the next two weeks.

On the personal side. Had a small barny this weekend got an interesting insight on the all or nothing syndrome. Well it seems like nothing is on the cards as I do not have an all in my bag of tricks!

Arrogance?

I thought I would join in on the Escom Bashing for a moment.

The radio ad that glibly states because you have not saved 10% as we demanded we gonna turn your power off so you can learn a lesson is the one that peeves me the most.

Greeny the Power saver has since January 2008 - when the coal did not come home to roost - done the following:

- Put a time switch on the Geyser
- Turned the heat setting on the geyser down to "warm shower"
- Reduced the time the pool pump runs
- Changed all the lights in the house to power savers
- Ensured that no equipment stayed on Standby
- Canned using the tumble dryer
- Purchased Cold Water Omo and washes in cold water

Total saving in house electricity usage - 38% month on month

Apathetic Power User did nothing

Total saving in house electricity usage - 0% month on month

Both houses are load shed on average 6 hours a week as "you have not saved your 10% so we gonna punish you all"

Downright fucking arrogant if you ask me!!!