Press Cuttings
Items in the local newspapers sometimes jump up at you and you can only shake your head and agree with everyone that we live in a strange world.
However, the local press picks up some gems from the foreign media sometimes:
WOMAN CHARGED WITH MALICIOUS CASTRATION:
In a place called Lillington in the USA a woman was arrested for “attacking a man in his genitals” (sic) at a Xmas Party. Apparently the poor lad needed 50 stitches to repair the damage and police said a weapon was NOT used. One can only assume the lass grabbed the guys nads and swung off them. She was released on a $50,000 bond. The take a lads bag seriously in Lillington.
HELPFUL DRUNK DRIVER OFFERS AID TO POLICE.
In Berlin, a rather pissed lederhosen clad man pulled over at a police stop check to assist in what he thought was some poor bugger broken down on the side of the road. The cops did not appreciate the gesture and promptly nicked the Good Samaritan for DUI. Does not pay to be helpful when you are ratted obviously.
BUFFALO GORES WEDDING GUESTS.
Cambodia is the place that when you have an open air wedding, make sure you invite the neighbors. Especially if the neighbor happens to be a Buffalo. Apparently Billy the Buff got a tad cheesed off that he was not invited and gate crashed the party. Injuring 4 guests in his display of anger, poor old Billy was shot dead some 1.2 kilometers from the party. The party continued after an hour long delay and it does not say if Billy the Buff was included in the festivities as the main course.
23 YEAR OLD ARREST WARRANTS?
It appears that in a town called Smithport there is no statute of limitations. Some poor bastard was brought before the local judge for failing to answer a DUI case 23 years previously. The judge commented to the prosecutors who insisted on bringing the case to court, “You better have a witness with a very good memory”
There is of course the usual “Thirsty man sells daughters beagle to buy beer” ; “Man trapped in drain while hunting for keys” and the good news story of “Baby born on train gets free rail travel for life”
The local media has nothing much in it that will perk ones interest and cause you to shake your head and say “We live in a strange world”
However, the local press picks up some gems from the foreign media sometimes:
WOMAN CHARGED WITH MALICIOUS CASTRATION:
In a place called Lillington in the USA a woman was arrested for “attacking a man in his genitals” (sic) at a Xmas Party. Apparently the poor lad needed 50 stitches to repair the damage and police said a weapon was NOT used. One can only assume the lass grabbed the guys nads and swung off them. She was released on a $50,000 bond. The take a lads bag seriously in Lillington.
HELPFUL DRUNK DRIVER OFFERS AID TO POLICE.
In Berlin, a rather pissed lederhosen clad man pulled over at a police stop check to assist in what he thought was some poor bugger broken down on the side of the road. The cops did not appreciate the gesture and promptly nicked the Good Samaritan for DUI. Does not pay to be helpful when you are ratted obviously.
BUFFALO GORES WEDDING GUESTS.
Cambodia is the place that when you have an open air wedding, make sure you invite the neighbors. Especially if the neighbor happens to be a Buffalo. Apparently Billy the Buff got a tad cheesed off that he was not invited and gate crashed the party. Injuring 4 guests in his display of anger, poor old Billy was shot dead some 1.2 kilometers from the party. The party continued after an hour long delay and it does not say if Billy the Buff was included in the festivities as the main course.
23 YEAR OLD ARREST WARRANTS?
It appears that in a town called Smithport there is no statute of limitations. Some poor bastard was brought before the local judge for failing to answer a DUI case 23 years previously. The judge commented to the prosecutors who insisted on bringing the case to court, “You better have a witness with a very good memory”
There is of course the usual “Thirsty man sells daughters beagle to buy beer” ; “Man trapped in drain while hunting for keys” and the good news story of “Baby born on train gets free rail travel for life”
The local media has nothing much in it that will perk ones interest and cause you to shake your head and say “We live in a strange world”
3 Comments:
malicious castration ..... she could have used her teeth? ;)
Esther ..... my first thought exactly!!!!!
Angie *chuckle* the difference between how men and women think ?
Post a Comment
<< Home