Hitting Branches of the Stupid Tree
Another day in Africa!
Month end is complete and I await the currency restatement tonight in order to complete my reports tomorrow and file away another month in Ghana.
My malaria has left me, but I seem to have a nagging cough and nasal drip as a reminder. This better bugger off before I head back South!!
I was chatting to Nessers yesterday. This was in response to her chatting about her nose bleeds. Now when Nessers nose bleeds, it bleeds. She has seen a quack about it, but for some reason will not get it fixed permanently.
And then she mentioned something which made me worry about how blonde she can be. “Wow love, it was bleeding so much I thought about putting a tampax in my nose”
I remember a very long time ago when I was very young (These kind of things stay with you) when I discovered a tampon left in the bathroom by my sister (Unused I will add). I pulled the thing apart none the wiser what it was. Only when I saw an advert in the paper some time later that it dawned on me what it was. I must have been around 9?
A few years later now, and I am a tad wiser as to the mechanics of tampons. After our Nessers made this wonderful statement (as she brushed past a branch of the stupid tree) I had this picture of a tampon in her nostril doing what a tampon does best. That is swell up to the size of a small glass and trap all the liquid behind it. Looks good on TV but the picture I had in my mind of a nostril swelling to accommodate the rapidly filling tampon was too much to bear.
I almost dropped the phone from laughing.
Nessers did – to her credit – realised she had just brushed said branch of the stupid tree.
The next people to hit the branch of the stupid tree is some faceless person who decided in order to make their lives easier they will issue edicts which bounce off the stupid branches on the way down.
As everyone in SA knows – the construction industry shuts down over Xmas. Therefore the faceless wonder decided that everyone had to fill in leave forms for the Xmas shut down. All works well in theory. Except they fuck everything up by adding to the edict “If you do not fill in a leave form – you will automatically be debited 13 days leave”. In theory good, as construction walla’s are not known for their paperwork.
When you point out that Ghana is not South Africa and the idea of construction shutting down in December has not reached this far north, you are met with a stony silence.
When you further point out that we are not taking annual leave in December, you are met with more stony silence.
When you again point out the stupidity of having to complete a leave form indicating that you are not going on leave to prevent having leave deducted you are met with an email stating “Since no leave forms have been received from you, you will automatically have 13 days deducted from your leave”
When you have finished screaming in abject frustration, you hear the sound of the faceless one bounce off the last branch in the stupid tree.
I swear – the faceless one MUST have worked in government.
That said – I am taking my R&R (pointed look at the faceless one) from the 23rd December 2005. Which gets me home for Xmas (just) but means I miss a friends wedding. The joys of living in the Jungle.
Another interesting part of the week was doing an accounting tutorial for this course that I am doing. It has been a long time since I have done accounting tutorials, but I laughed to note that the people that set questions still use the same old tricks that they used 20 years ago. 52 and 53 week years in ratio analysis is a trick as old as the hills. These lads try not to keep it simple.
It was also interesting to note that they used a real life company. Fossil Inc. All the ratios indicated the company was having a problem. This was in 2001. in 2005 their share price had effectively doubled making the investment decision based purely on the ratios a bit silly. I wonder if the person marking the paper will take kindly to my conclusion that making an investment decision based purely on the results of ratio analysis is a sure way of making the incorrect decision.
Oh yes
We all went to the beach this weekend. I swam, body surfed in the 1.5 meter swell, got burnt, got pissed, shouted at the TV screen as the Springboks got thumped by the French and generally had a good time.
Carlos also made contact with the stupid tree when he decided to carry meat in the car and not notice that blood had leaked onto the mat.
Take blood on the mat and a car with windows closed baking in the sun for two days and you will soon realise their trip back home was not a nice experience.
(Put hand to ear and hear the thud)
You have fun now – you hear – and keep away from the branches of that tree!
Month end is complete and I await the currency restatement tonight in order to complete my reports tomorrow and file away another month in Ghana.
My malaria has left me, but I seem to have a nagging cough and nasal drip as a reminder. This better bugger off before I head back South!!
I was chatting to Nessers yesterday. This was in response to her chatting about her nose bleeds. Now when Nessers nose bleeds, it bleeds. She has seen a quack about it, but for some reason will not get it fixed permanently.
And then she mentioned something which made me worry about how blonde she can be. “Wow love, it was bleeding so much I thought about putting a tampax in my nose”
I remember a very long time ago when I was very young (These kind of things stay with you) when I discovered a tampon left in the bathroom by my sister (Unused I will add). I pulled the thing apart none the wiser what it was. Only when I saw an advert in the paper some time later that it dawned on me what it was. I must have been around 9?
A few years later now, and I am a tad wiser as to the mechanics of tampons. After our Nessers made this wonderful statement (as she brushed past a branch of the stupid tree) I had this picture of a tampon in her nostril doing what a tampon does best. That is swell up to the size of a small glass and trap all the liquid behind it. Looks good on TV but the picture I had in my mind of a nostril swelling to accommodate the rapidly filling tampon was too much to bear.
I almost dropped the phone from laughing.
Nessers did – to her credit – realised she had just brushed said branch of the stupid tree.
The next people to hit the branch of the stupid tree is some faceless person who decided in order to make their lives easier they will issue edicts which bounce off the stupid branches on the way down.
As everyone in SA knows – the construction industry shuts down over Xmas. Therefore the faceless wonder decided that everyone had to fill in leave forms for the Xmas shut down. All works well in theory. Except they fuck everything up by adding to the edict “If you do not fill in a leave form – you will automatically be debited 13 days leave”. In theory good, as construction walla’s are not known for their paperwork.
When you point out that Ghana is not South Africa and the idea of construction shutting down in December has not reached this far north, you are met with a stony silence.
When you further point out that we are not taking annual leave in December, you are met with more stony silence.
When you again point out the stupidity of having to complete a leave form indicating that you are not going on leave to prevent having leave deducted you are met with an email stating “Since no leave forms have been received from you, you will automatically have 13 days deducted from your leave”
When you have finished screaming in abject frustration, you hear the sound of the faceless one bounce off the last branch in the stupid tree.
I swear – the faceless one MUST have worked in government.
That said – I am taking my R&R (pointed look at the faceless one) from the 23rd December 2005. Which gets me home for Xmas (just) but means I miss a friends wedding. The joys of living in the Jungle.
Another interesting part of the week was doing an accounting tutorial for this course that I am doing. It has been a long time since I have done accounting tutorials, but I laughed to note that the people that set questions still use the same old tricks that they used 20 years ago. 52 and 53 week years in ratio analysis is a trick as old as the hills. These lads try not to keep it simple.
It was also interesting to note that they used a real life company. Fossil Inc. All the ratios indicated the company was having a problem. This was in 2001. in 2005 their share price had effectively doubled making the investment decision based purely on the ratios a bit silly. I wonder if the person marking the paper will take kindly to my conclusion that making an investment decision based purely on the results of ratio analysis is a sure way of making the incorrect decision.
Oh yes
We all went to the beach this weekend. I swam, body surfed in the 1.5 meter swell, got burnt, got pissed, shouted at the TV screen as the Springboks got thumped by the French and generally had a good time.
Carlos also made contact with the stupid tree when he decided to carry meat in the car and not notice that blood had leaked onto the mat.
Take blood on the mat and a car with windows closed baking in the sun for two days and you will soon realise their trip back home was not a nice experience.
(Put hand to ear and hear the thud)
You have fun now – you hear – and keep away from the branches of that tree!
1 Comments:
Seriously, what does it feel like to have malaria? I want to know...so I can take extra precautions for a forthcoming trip...
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