Know when to hold em, Know when to fold em

Well I almost have a visa for France.

However. There are things in life that people do that amaze me.

Applying for a French visa is a lesson in bureaucracy! Firstly, you cannot send your logistics lady if you have not been previously granted a Schengen Visa. You must pitch up in person.

Next up, they open at 8.30 and close at 12.00. However, if 150 people pitch up, that’s all they will deal with in one day. So if 150 people Q at 9am, they close at 9am.

That said – I arrived at 9.40 and finally departed at 13.45. All the while moving from one seat to the next as one got closer and closer to the windows.

Now there was this lad and his wife. They pitched up with a visa application and a ticket. Nothing else. As they moved down the Q, they realized that they needed more than just that. The lad spent a while in and out of the building in the next 3 hours getting all his stuff together and photocopying what he needed.

He was ahead of me, so he gets up to the window and lo and behold STILL does not have confirmation of travel insurance. The lady points this out and he try’s to bluster his way. Said French lady is having none of this and basically sends him on his way with the bland statement of “you need to get your paperwork together and come back”

His response was “well you need not be so rude and can be a bit friendlier”

You could see all the people in the Q cringe. If there is an epitomy of bureaucracy on the other side of the desk, which has the power to (a) make your life difficult and (b) refuse your visa, best you be nice to them.

That said the lad vanished, but kept his wife in the Q. He returned at 12.10 with, I assume the required documents. As we all thought, the nice lady behind the counter took one look at him and said “sorry it is after 12, you need to come back tomorrow”.

He bitched, he moaned, she called a large French Gendarme type lad with a gun on his hip and said lad was removed. Sage nods from people in the Q. Never NEVER piss off the nice lady behind the counter if you do not want to be given the run around.

Another fun thing, A Visa costs R566.04. Why they did not drop the 4c is beyond me.

A lass waited for her 2c change after applying for 2 visa’s and the woman behind the counter – another one – was mortified that someone would ask for 2c change.

I assume the R3.00 extra at the end of the day in her till contributed to coffee.



I depart for Mauritius on Monday, in the face of a government strike. This should make customs at the airport an interesting trip. In theory I have to be there at 6.30 am.

It does not help to be there earlier, as prior experience told me that they do not open at 5am. Thus it is going to a bun fight if Customs put their management to work. Problem is, management in theory also goes on strike.

This management had lunch at Monte Casino today with a client. Came home and did some work.

I am now off for dinner


Oh the stressed life I lead.

Another week bites the dust!

What a week.

Work has been keeping me out of mischief – which is a sad state of affairs, but the work has been tempered by a reasonable social life as well.

Tuesday was a few drinks – very few, I was home by 7:30 – followed by 10 pin bowling on Wednesday night at a work function for Nessers work. I bowled 140, thereby beating all contenders by a minimum of 31 points. The hop, skip and bowl worked well and I retained the cup I won off the Nessers three years ago!

Thursday was a mini Friday, spent in good company and supported by good food and even better booze. The mini Fridays are working well.

Tis my sisters birthday today, and she is spending it in Greece with her daughter/s. I managed to phone and chat a bit until we got cut off. So HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUB’S (cos I know you read my blog once in a while *chuckle*)

This week the pressing subjects are:

THE COLD!!!!!

Fark!!!!!

When I landed on Saturday morning from a balmy 35 degrees in Ghana, I was treated to a nice wake up call of 7 degrees on the ground. Couple this with the fact that I traveled in Shorts and a T shirt, parked my car in the long term parking at the airport and had to wait 15 minutes for a shuttle bus, you will understand I was rather goose fleshed when I climbed into the car and turned the heated seats to 5

But!

That had nothing on when the cold front hit. -2 degrees, ice on the ground and for the first time in a while I actually slept with clothes on.

Twas not nice!

However as I write, it is a barmy 14 degrees and I am quite warm.

I also moved into my new office. In the corner, Conference Table and Mark nicked the fridge.

Nice sun streaming in and the ability to open the windows if I want to sneak a smoke after 5.

(there was even an ash tray left behind)


Monday and Tuesday finds me in the town of Parys – yup – Paris is the following week *boast* for a strat session. The only issue is that the place is in the free state and we all know how cold the free state gets in winter.

I will bring a BIG jacket.

Wed – Friday will be back to the month end grind before I fly off for 2 weeks on the 4th.


I was most impressed with our beleaguered Minister of Transport when taken to task on the monorail. ( for those that do not know, a Malaysian company/ consortium offered to “give” R12 billion to build a mono rail from Soweto to JHB City). Jeff’s answer “No-one has actually spoken to me about this and the first time I heard about it was in the newspapers”.

That response stole the interviewers thunder and the next question of “Should you not resign” was possibly the worst placed question I have heard in an interview. JJ Hang your head in shame.

His response on E-Natis was a little bit contrived as he harped on how wonderful the system is and how it was coping with 33% more volume than the old Natis system.

Yup Mr. Minister – the whole reason why there are 33% more transactions is because the bloody system has not been working for a month, and by only processing 33% more transactions, it will take you at least 3 months to catch up on the backlog.

A badly implemented system and quite honestly someone should be answerable. It obviously will not be the Minister.

So the Gauteng Transport Minister is in Kak for doing a Malaysia “free lunch” all by himself and the Auditor General was forced to apologise to Jeff as the so called audit report stating that E-Natis had an 80% chance of failure was never actually sent to anyone.

Could the report have been written after the failure to cover someone’s ass?

I will leave you with that thought!

Friday - Ghana

Another day, another small plane.

I am about to wing my way down South on a big one, after enduring a bouncy small one.

Successful trip?

The jury is still out on that one!

Ghana

Not much changes in Ghana.

What has however changed is the fact that the lads on site have cleaned up nicely (not just personally but work wise too) and we are in the final throes of the job.

Everyone is a tad "bossies" and have got to the stage when they just want to get out and take some well earned rest at home. The poor buggers have done almost five months on the trot.

I have a series of meetings which will endure until Friday when I once again wing my way back south.

I did partake in some good of fashioned 50/50 Captains as only they can serve on site. Sleep did not however come easily.

Another day

Another Neut- de - Coco

The Law is an Ass (and other travel news)

Our well renowned Constitutional Court made a “landmark” decision regarding Rape. Non Consensual anal penetration (Watch my google hits grow) has now been listed as rape. Not 100% sure why it was not before in all honesty.

However:

It is only rape if you are a female. If you are a male, it is not considered rape, but rather sexual assault, which is considered a “lesser crime”

Now forgive me for shaking my head. If some guy (or for that matter some butch lass with a 12” strap on) shags me up the nort without me giving my explicit consent, that is rape. No questions of that on my side.

The courts “learned” opinion was they are not there to “make law”

In my humble non legal opinion, by determining that anal penetration of a lass is rape, when that was not the case in terms of the law previously, is making law.

Methinks our learned Judges are a tad confused. Two judges dissented! I am not sure what the other lot was smoking.


That said!

I am off to Ghana again today for a week in the Jungle. Always sounds a lot better than 3 months as was previous. The only issue is when I look at my to-do-list, I get concerned as to how I am going to fit it all in. That and a party with the client in Obuasi on Saturday night.

HOWEVER.

After three years of traveling to destinations that are not advertised as tourist destinations, I am finally scoring two destinations that are on peoples tourist list.

Mauritius for a week. There will be a series of meetings but I have no doubt there will be more than enough opportunity to do Tourist 101.

Paris for a day: I have a one day stop off in Paris (as opposed to Parys) on my way to Ougadouga (Burkina Faso).

Paris for a day and a half. On the way back from BF, I get a day and a half to do Advanced Tourist.

The best part about it is by spending an extra day in Paris, the price of the ticket reduces by R4000. So the accountant in me is happy.

Couple that with my decision not to fly Air Kenya until they have worked out why their 737-800 went down, the flight via Paris is actually cheaper then flying Air Kenya.

Another reason to make the accountant in me smile.

The only issue I therefore have is to apply for a Visa to Paris and I am A for Away.

See the smile on my face!!!!!


Hope you are all having fun

I am J

Busy one? Possibly

What a fun week.

After spending Monday sleeping and Tuesday enjoying a public holiday, Wednesday saw work at full swing. Well almost. Ended up on a “course’ from around 12 and did reasonably well all things considered. We did however spend a while at the 19th where single captains were supped, I won some goodies after coming 11th, my partner won a wheelbarrow full of booze in the raffle and generally a good time was had by all.

The most interesting part of the evening was 4 guys trying to get a wheelbarrow full of booze down the stairs. After much huffing and puffing, this feat was achieved and the booze was safely loaded into said winners car. Most people would have tossed the wheelbarrow. Not said winner and more squeezing was carried out to fit said barrow into the back seat of the car. Thank fark the lad was not stopped by the cops. Could have been an interesting explanation.

Friday saw us at the office pub, where a few bottles of good red were supped and the problems of the world was solved between 5 of us. Once again, an interesting drive home. I really must respect the roads a bit more!!

Saturday was a rugby day and I managed to score some tickets to go watch the Lions get beaten again. This time the Cheetahs duly obliged. When I say I swear watching TV, I swear a whole load more when it is live. It was a box, so once again the captains flowed and everyone had a whole load of fun.

Everyone that is, except for Keith. We were walking to the car and Keith was left behind chatting to two new friends. After a while waiting for him, I phoned and ‘ he was on his way’. Twenty minutes later he was still on his way and ten minutes after that his cell was switched off.

For the next two hours, I discovered all the streets around Ellis Park while we looked for Keith who no doubt was looking for us. I finally found the lad, courtesy of the local fire department who was treating him after he had fallen down a trench where they were laying cable. Sore ankle and a cute gash in his head that made for lots of the red stuff.

I got him back to Nessers place, cleaned him up and put the poor lad to bed.

Next morning it transpires that his cell, wallet, chain and watch were gone. It then becomes apparent that the gash in his head was courtesy of the redistrubutors of wealth and he was actually mugged. Poor bugger. He was less than a happy lad this morning.

On the house front, I have commenced building my deck, which has the columns, set in concrete and levelled off. Today I will get into the frame and wood protection.

I have received the design for my new kitchen, which looks stunning. Have a few small issues that need to be resolved, but they did manage to capture everything I wanted and catered for my non-negotiables. Now to get a price for the stunning kitchen.

Off to Ghana again on Friday, so this week promises to be an interesting one.

Hope you too are busy and smiling.

I know I am

Keep it that way.

View from "Point G (almost)"

View over the outskirts of Bamako
The smiling (and ever so slightly hungover) Celia
Bamako City
More of Bamako City
See that empty swimming pool?

See the diving board?

See Celia ask "I wonder what Monument that is"

See Tony avoid ripping her off too much

The trip to Sidu

Little Rock on top of Big Rock - or entitled "erect nipple"
Nice hills!
The small tar section just outside Sidu. There was an election taking place that day. Did not impact on this sleepy hollow
But there were more villages

Even More Mali Pics

Our Hotel. Run by the Accor Group (French obviously) and owned (apparently) my Muhammar Gadaffi
Mango's are readily available in Mali. They export them as well judging by the crates I saw on the airport tarmac awaiting the Air France plane.
The Streets of Bamako

More Mali Pictures

Titled two donkeys on a bridge. Donkey Carts abounded in the rural area

Mosque in the countryside

It did amaze me that there was this wonderful looking mosque surrounded by baked brick houses.

Athough not all are mud huts

Pictures from Mali

Mud Huts abound in the country side. I spose with no TV, the fact that you would have to rebuild your house after the rainy season gives one something to do.

Mali - Day Final

It is 06h15 at yet another African airport. This time Nairobi! Whoever believes that travel is a blast should do these overnighters with connecting flights. I have not slept since yesterday morning and even that was only 5 hours.

We had a mini drinking session on Friday night which involved cocktails aptly entitled “Timbuktu” and “Sikaso” There was a lot of philosophical discussion which is possible when one is well lubricated. We also confirmed that French Wine is kak.

I do believe we finally took the lift to our respective rooms at around 2am.

Now Celia had done research on Mali – as her job demands – and part of the research entailed photocopies of the Lonely Planet which – in theory – states what we can do in Mali from a Tourist perspective. Timbuktu and Doha was out the window as soon as I was delayed on my trip up and we had to drive to site due to no planes being available to charter. Apparently there was a presidential election on Sunday. I can honestly say with our driving around it was not that apparent.

So we toddled off to a place called “Sidi” which was listed as being 50km from Bamako and had a rock arch, natural spring and all this accessed after a 75 minute walk.

We found Sidi on the map, in our pidgin English directed Musa our driver in that direction and complained bitterly about our respective hangovers.

What Lonely Planet failed to mention was the road was not tarred. The vehicle we had hired had some African suspension. Take that and a cocktail induced hangover and you know there are issues happening that lonely planet never anticipated. We did however find Sidi, looked at it, nodded sagely when the 75 minute walk was turned down and I took pictures of “Small Rock on Big Rock” and Donkey Carts.

We turned around after 15 minutes and drove back to Town. Musa must have been thinking – in French – how looney these people from South Africa are. We then decided to find “Point G” which is a viewsite overlooking Bamako.

The jokes on how we would never find a G spot abounded.

Needless to say we did not find the actual G Spot, but got our now very confused driver to park on a Dirt Track at the top of the hill while we walked to the edge to take some pics. I have omitted to take my long lens and the haze was quite bad. The pictures prove it.

Back to the hotel, swim to rehydrate, lunch and a meeting with the local lawyers on the way forward.

Back to the rooms, pack and off to the airport.

We were due to take off at 19h30, and ended up at the airport at 17h00. Once again a standard African airport, coffee at $3.00 a cup and hard seats.

The classic was we were busy chatting, drinking coffee and running through some of my old blogs when the Waiter pointed out to us that our flight was boarding.

We ran for the flight and were the last to board. Missing a flight home is never an option, but when you arrive at the airport more than 2 hours before boarding and still manage to miss it, you will be the subject of much ridicule.

Uneventful flight – land at airport – have coffee with Celia who has an 18 hour layover before her flight to Mauritius and once again rush when the announcement is made requesting her to please meet the driver from the Holiday Inn as he had been waiting ½ and hour. No doubt she will get a good sleep in. Lucky Wench!!

Appears our flight is on time, so let me see if I can post the final Mali blog.

I foresee an interesting contract over the next 8 months.

*** Update

I arrived home at 11:40am. I slept from 12:30 to 5pm

Is traveling not just fun?