Missive from parts of Africa

A light hearted and sometimes serious look at moving 6000km into a place in Africa: April 2007. Promoted back to South Africa, the missive will continue to track my foray's into deepest Africa as and when I get there.

Name:
Location: Joburg, Africa, South Africa

Monday, March 26, 2007

Home Sweet Home

After missing the flight on Friday, we finally made it home on Sunday at 11am.

After a 6 hour flight from Accra to Niarobi

Hang around in the Airport for 3 hours

4 hours Nairobi - JHB International (aka Oliver Tambo's Airport)

Note to self:

Never ever ever miss a flight from Accra again.

I slept the entire afternoon on Sunday and was in bed by 9pm dead to the world.

But I did manage to score some Kenyan Tea
hehehe

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Tick a few things off the list

It has always been an unwritten rule - or in this case a few unwritten rules.

1. Never miss the flight from Ghana
2. Never travel on Ghana roads at night
3. Speed on Ghana Roads should be reasonable


Courtesy of a storm at Kumasi last night, the small vomit comet could not land and we were stuck in Kumasi at 6pm with a SAA flight departing at 11.

Solution.

Hire a car (with 400,000km on the clock) for $100 plus an additional GHC800,000 for fuel and travel by road to Accra.

The trip is normally 5 hours

Offer Driver a Bonus if he makes the plane.

The driver was the Devil!

My life flashed before me a good few times over the 4h30 mins of the trip.

Needless to say we arrived at the airport at 22h45 for a flight leaving at 23h00. SAA would not allow us to board. They were however very nice about it and they had a point. I am quite sure we are not the only scared, shattered Brunies that have made the hell trip from Kumasi.

Next time.

Stay overnight in Kumasi

It ensures that the Group Five life assurance company does not have palpitations when 3 of their senior lads do foolish things in an African Country.

But you had to try man!!


Hope you are smiling - we are trying to arrange a flight home tonite by hopping on a plane from Accra to Lagos.

Wish me luck!

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Airmiles

Since my last post I have been in Ghana, back to SA, spent 2 days in the Magaliesburg and am now back in Ghana only to return to SA on Saturday Morning.

8 hour flights, nicotine withdrawal, small planes, long drives and a different bed every night (almost).

There is a hamster running on a wheel - and methinks the hamster is me....

I have however.

- Had nookie (not enough tho)
- Quad biked for the 1st time
- Did some archery ( and managed to get one bull from 20 paces)
- Ate enough really nice food to put on weight
- Attended a strat session at a really nice 5 * establishment in the Magalies
- Missed a public holiday and spent it on a flight to Ghana
- Argued a point and hopefully have won
- Got waaaay behind on my email

I write this post while I wait for 3.77MB of email to download, before hitting the road from Obuasi to Bogoso.

Will update in greater detail when the wheel stops turning.

Oh Yes - do NOT mention Pres Mbeki and his "all whites are racist" diatribe.

cos then I am gonna get an attack of the willies

Have fun people and peoplesses

Friday, March 09, 2007

Back in Ghana

On the long fight which fly's via the Ivory Coast and hangs around for an hour on the ground depriving me of a ciggie.

With 210 kg of luggage which made getting through customs challenging

40 mins late which once again deprived me of a ciggie

where it is 29 degrees at 11pm and the sweat dripping down my neck tells me I am definately back in Ghana.

But:

I have checked my mail

Have ensured I am booked on the flight to Kumasi at 6.30 am tomorrow

and I have had a cup of Chelsea Tea


I will now toddle off to bed - sleep the sleep of the dead until my week of fun starts!!

Hope you are all smiling you are!

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Women and their Secrets

This weekend the Nessers took me to a Spa.

Mgwanani Health Spa near the Hennop’s River Valley to be exact.

Now I fully understand why woman go to spa’s

A day of pampering. My skin was subject to scraping with salt, sugar and little balls of fully stuff.

I was liberally coated with almond oil, sweet oil, funny smelling oil and rose smelling washes.

We could drink fruit juice, water and coffee at will.

More details?

Pick up at 7am from Monte Casino. Champers and Orange Juice before you board the bus and fill out your little forms that say you cannot sue, lists your medical conditions (mine was “Just a little mad”) and say if you want Hard, Soft or Medium massages.

I must admit, strike 1 came from having less legroom on the bus then you get from SAA to India. I managed to capture the door seat that resolved this problem, but come on people! Buy a bus that can be used for adults as opposed to 5-year-old toddlers.

Greeted by Drums and singing at the spa as well as a health breakfast of Yoggie and Meusli. Nice scones and honey, coffee and juice.

Nice lady who came around, gave us the program for the day and we started with a full body massage with hot stones as a finale. 45 minutes of that and I was already relaxed. My mouth had a slack feeling to it and I stumbled back to the table supping water.

Next came the foot massage. Creamy sugar to scrape away all the bad stuff and oils to put back in the good stuff. Once again, my mind slipped into a place normally accessed after a visit to paradise in Ghana.

Next up was the head massage and the only laugh I got of the day when the lass doing the head massage read about my mental health problem. The fact they used oil on my head meant I came back from that treatment looking like an Italian Mafia runner.

Lunch was a chicken wrap, red wine and vegetables that I left to Nessers.

After lunch was the facial where I came oh so close to falling asleep as all sorts of oils and creams were lathered on my face and I lay for around 20 minutes letting it all settle in. I would have snored J

Full body exfoliation with coarse salt. We had an option of Mielie Meal, but given all the starving kids in Africa decided to go with the salt. It was a messy business, Nessers bursting into laughter as the salt tickled her feet and my keeping quiet as my skin was liberally scraped from my body. Not a pleasant experience but not an unpleasant one either.

We gave the Jacuzzi a miss, Nessers went to shower and I went to lie in the shade, smoke and read the Saturday Star, which they had kindly laid on.

The finale was a hand treatment, which was identical to the foot treatment – except they did it on your hands of course.

Cheese Snacks and Amarula closed the day.

The ride back was in the white Combi where leg room was not an issue. The driver was a lad helping out and it turned out he made his living shooting animal documentaries in Africa. He was off to some strange African country to shoot chimps the next week. Nessers was enamoured and I could hear her ovaries clap. Chuckle

We went off to the Barnyard to watch Celtic Rock – which was not bad at all – and tucked into some sushi and a nice bottle of Fat Bastard Chardonnay.

Asleep by 10……………………..

Will I go back to the Spa?

Damn right I will.

Very nice way to relax.