Month end Saturday - and no month end stuff to do

Well, it is a month end weekend and here I sit at the office doing month end stuff….. let me rephrase that – I came into the office to do month end stuff and looked at the month end checklist and realized that everything I could do, I had already done.

Which is bloody marvelous!!!

All we have to do is complete the creditors, which is always left until the last day so we can catch as many invoices as possible, and ledger reviews. Finally we seem to be getting the knack of it, and everyone is doing their bit to make month ends as painless as possible.

So – everyone is away, except for some work happening on site and here I sit in the office, pondering on life and its vagaries.

We all ended up at the Manganese Mine Club and Restaurant last night for a happy hour and chop (courtesy of Group Five) as our year end thank you for customers and remember us in the New Year when business is handed out. All the local mines were well represented and the small group of diehards left – dare I say “staggered” – out at around 11.45. The chop was good (the ubiquitous Food Services Braai (or Bar-B-Q as they call it here) with the local rice and fire sauce. Bacardi Black was the only rum on offer, so the sweet stuff it had to be. I was fairly pissed off that the JHB office did not send up my care pack with the guys that few up on Wednesday, or I would have at least pulled out the Captains to drink some decent rum!

Met a whole range of new people and even managed to get some business over the glasses. So all can not be that bad. It is also interesting to see the “old” people in Ghana. That is the guys that have been here for four or more years, and hear the stories that come out from over the table. I spent a whole lot of time laughing at the escapades people can get up to when you are single and bored, far from home.

Where else can you.

• Pay the local hunter GHC5,000 per shot to take his home made shotgun and take pot shots at nothing in particular cause u want to make a noise.
• Phone a mate and ask him where he is. He responds – “in my pool drinking”. Your response is “You cannot be in your pool drinking, cause we are in your pool drinking, so come on over cause the party is at your place!”
• Arrange a pig braai on Sunday, and then have to designate someone to go to the local village and get a live pig, slaughter it and skin it, so it can be braai’d. (believe it or not – That is the party I am invited to tomorrow)

There were other stories as well, but some not for this site and others that have been lost in the maze lubricated by the rum.

This reminds me. In a previous blog I mentioned I had a replacement Gelunderwagen and it smoked more than I did. Well proof has been obtained that smoking kills! The Replacement Gelunderwagen died a slow death between home and the office, and coughed a few times before demanding someone skilled look under the bonnet and replace parts. The joys of a hired vehicle means phone “TT” (the lad who is hiring the vehicle) and tell him “Come Fix!” The replacement vehicle at the same price, a bloody HUGE land cruiser. I kid you not when I say it is like driving a bus. Very very wide, and the grunt of 12 elephants after finding a marula tree. Comfortable drive supreme. Because it is so big, you cruise over the smaller bumps and the bigger potholes do not feel ½ as nasty as they do on the smaller cars. Road holding is however not a strong point, and you forever feel that the immense weight and centrifugal force will cause you to end up in the banana trees.

I have further mentioned that the roads are pretty narrow and local drivers (and this expat driver) has a habit of driving in the middle of the road. This and the irrational fear I am going to side swipe one of the 17 million locals walking in the road and think it was a pothole, makes the drive home a sedate one. That and the bloody thing drinks fuel like a wino locked in a bottle store for 3 hours only!!!!.

I should get the Pajero back again soon.

Driving home from the mine last night was challenging and my bloody security guard was asleep when I got home, meaning some late night tooting was required.

The imam decided to regale us with his full sermon from 4.30 am – 5.45 am and I am now about ready to kill. However there is light at the end of the tunnel. All the project people have left, and there is now the question of storing furniture and what to do with the expats that remain that were staying in the big house (I Kid you not – 23 rooms). The solution. I move to the double story (where I originally stayed until I found the house I am in now), we use the lower part of the house to store the furniture and equipment, and the expats will move into my house, which is private enough to allow them to “entertain”.

All in all – a farking good idea!!!!

So that happens next week.

I will now be able to sleep until 5am! - oh what bliss – oh how the mighty has fallen.

What to do for the rest of the day. Well I am going to save money – you see the accountant in me – and turn off the genset (running a 200KVA genset for 1 person, 1 aircon and a sat system is a tad wasteful), and toddle off to the market and see what goodies I can get hold over for …….count of money I have ….. GHC430.000.

There is rugger on this afternoon – the pissants have decided to time it at the same time Man U are playing *sigh*, and of course the Saturday night diet of survivor, movie and sleep. And not to forget a little phone call to Nessers which should put a smile on BOTH of our faces. She is out partying tonight (with my daughter as well) and I am a tad peeved that I am unable to join. She is saying farewell to an aussie mate, who is off back home “to earn some real money”. Cocktails followed by Melville…….. damn – I am missing out.

I may even pay a visit to the imam to complain, if my mood is as bad then as it is now. (the mini hangover is almost gone….I say almost)

Oh yeah!! - I had a great shower today with hot water and pressure. Now that’s a bonus!

3 weeks until home time, and I have managed to secure a holiday flat in Durban (dad’s holiday flat is been rented out – the bugger) to spend some nice beach time with Nessers (and loads of sex!!!!) and do the scatter ash thang for mum.

My sons 21st is on the 6th of January, I was convinced it was the 5th, so we will get back in time for a HUGE party and see how many of his mates we can embarrass. *chuckle*

The fact that he is 21 makes me feel old. But!! I started young – so I canna be old at all, and the only part of my body that reminds me of my age is my knees, but that’s because of years behind the stumps playing wicket-keeper. (that’s my excuse and I am sticking to it!)

I ramble
Therefore I go

Oh yeah: My mate Esther ( http://www.3sth3r.blogspot.com ) is in Abu Dhabi as I type. She gets to the most interesting of places doesn’t she?

Have a great one everyone!!!

The "huge" waves

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Originally uploaded by Hop.

My Room

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Originally uploaded by Hop.

The "misty" look comes from taking your camera out of an airconditioned room into hot and hunid conditions

View of the beach and hotel

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Originally uploaded by Hop.

Quick Snap as I had a belief that a ruddy great big wave was gonna attack me from the back

Chop Time

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Originally uploaded by Hop.

Francis is looking at the salads in disgust - where is the meat man!!!

Part of the team

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Originally uploaded by Hop.

At the start of the evening a quick group pic on some of the lads!

Give me the KY before you shaft me please!!!!

There are few things in life that grind the hell out of me, and one of them is people ripping me (us) off. I have worked outside of South Africa for 15 years and quite honestly there is nowhere else that I have worked that people try their luck as in Ghana.

Case Study 1.

Injury on duty seems to be a license to print money in this country. Take person A. He disregards safety procedures and manages to overturn a crane. In so doing he gets a bang on the head and gets taken to hospital. Two pain pills later he is back at work – until an enquiry sets in and he is sorted. Two weeks later a letter from the local Labour office comes in awarding the guy GHC13.000.000 (ZAR 9.000) as compensation for the injury. I query this award and “suddenly” the injury is “Cerebral Concussion with permanent dislocation of shoulder”. I mean for farks sake!!!!! What is a “permanent dislocation”. Does this mean the shoulder does not fit into the slot again and the poor bugger is walking around with a floppy arm? And where else can you have concussion unless it is cerebral.

Case Study 2.

Man gets thumb caught between pipes. Left thumb is broken. Award GHC 13.000.000 (do you see a pattern forming here?). Have a look at the medical form, and the award is made for a broken right thumb. When you ask the Labour officer wtf is going on, he says he will send the form back to the doctor to change it. I mean hell – why not say his leg was broken as well while he is about it.

Cash Study 3.

Man walks into overhanging pipe with his safety helmet on. Award GHC 9.000.000 – sheesh we got a discount on this one. Diagnosis. Cerebral concussion and Permanent Contusion to neck. Now when I was at paramedics, a contusion was indicated by “broken skin accompanied by bruising”. This poor bugger is going to walk around the rest of his life with a permanent bruise and cuts on his neck. (if the quack er doctor is to be believed).

SO what do you do. You send a strongly worded letter to the Doctor involved requesting reasons for the diagnosis. He obviously ignores it, and when you send a letter to the labour department they kak on you for been “confrontational”

At least give me some KY Jelly when you shaft me to make it a little less painful!!!!!!!!!!

Case Study 4.

We need an item that we fabricated sandblasted and painted. We do not have a compressor, but there is a crew at the back of our land doing odd jobs for people in the area. Ask the lad how much he is going to charge to sandblast and paint, he comes back with the following:

We supply fuel for the compressor
We supply paint and thinners

They will charge us an “extra special price” of GHC 4.500.000 (ZAR 3000.00) – this is for around 2 hours work. I do the mini explode and tell them they are smoking their socks and not to worry, I will do it myself. They want to negotiate – I do not. Eventually they come back and agree to do it for GHC 800.000 (R550.00) and they will supply the fuel for the compressor. We agree – they feel they doing it for cheap, and I have this distinct feeling that they want to rip me off. Sickening!!!!!


I have now vented my frustration – so I can get back to the more mundane things in life, like eating lunch.

The uneventful week that was quite eventful

Another week bites the dust and we rush closer to the end of another year. As far as my life in Ghana over the last week, there is one word that immediately came to mind as I sat down to write the blog – uneventful.

I am making the three hour round trip to our new site every second day, which is dramatically improving my off road skills, and had the one effect of me hiring a replacement “gelunderwagen” mainly due to the shocks on the old one proving impossible for the guy hiring me the vehicle to fix. Driving on potholed and corrugated roads in a machine that “walks” all over the road was not a pleasant experience. So, I am down driving a (manual) Pajero which is a tad old, smokes more then I do and tells me the temperature in C rather then F. All this at $5 cheaper a day then the old one was costing me. Oh yes and it is diesel and defiantly has the tractor sound to it. BUT!!! The shocks work well.

Tuesday did see me climbing to the top of a half built stacker conveyor, which given my love for heights – yeah right – was heart in the mouth stuff. The fact there were no handrails from around 10m up, with the total height 22 meters above the ground added to the thrill value of the ride. Why the hell did I do this you ask? All part of the learning process. This conveyor was built and before completion kind of bent and buckled and did not look good at all. Our job - Fix it! Well in the process of working out how we were going to fix it, this lil accountant walla studied the drawing and worked out the problem after huge discussion with people that knew what they were looking at. All it took was logic. And logic I do well. To prove my theory, I had to toodle to the top of this piece of equipment and show everyone why the debit side of the conveyor had to equal the credit side. Turns out that after all the discussion, there was a simpler solution then the one proposed by myself, and that gets tested tomorrow. If it does not work, then we go my route. I have a bet of 10 bottles of scotch that we will revert back to my idea, but to be dead honest – it is a bet that I will be willing to pay as we would have resolved the client’s problem in 8 days, instead of three weeks. And that makes us look good!!! All it will take is 11 people, a 60 ton crane (ours) 55 ton crane (theirs) and 45 ton crane (also ours).

Keeping your lads happy on site is a challenge. We have 21 people there in total, and managed to secure a local camp – which is basically 12 rooms and an ablution block.

Problem? No electricity and a pump which drives water to the ablution blocks which is electric.
Solution: Gensets.
Problem, Genset that came with the camp is beyond repair.
Solution: Power from the mine
Problem: The mine takes 8 days to install electricity.

Problem: No food facilities
Solution: Give guys GHC 30.000 per day to buy food from the local village.
Problem: People at the village know a good thing when they see it and the price of food goes through the roof meaning GHC 30.000 although been more then enough in Tarkwa is totally insufficient where we are.
Solution: Mine caterers supply food for $2.00 a plate (GHC 18.000) – oh yes and add $0.25 for the take away container. (seems like the caterers have the same idea as the village.)

And so it continues:

I did lose my temper in a big way this week. Possibly only the second time since I arrive here . There was a huge amount of time and effort taken by our new expat to fix the 60 ton crane, and effectively the entire crane was rewired, bridged units corrected and generally refurbished. The client was jumping up and down as he needed the 60 ton to do the conveyer job, and we could not get the crane out until it was all done. Well – come Thursday everything was running, moving, beeping and generally the crane was ready to get out into the field. Said expat runs off to site to fix the starter on a genset (turns out the original starter was stolen and swapped out with a broken one), and when he returns, “someone” had tightened the bolts on the alternator and sheared five of the seven bolts. Run the motor for 10 minutes and *poof* the entire section self destructs. Couple this with some loose wires which suddenly appear, and the crane does not quite make the grade to get out to site.

Solution. Call all workshop staff in a group and read them the riot act. Liberal use of the F word, the C word and even the P word, seems to have the desired effect and since then we have not had any more “mysterious failures”. Those that know me well know that I do not lose my temper often, but when I do……. Find somewhere safe.

Worked this weekend, on fairly arb stuff. We are actually up to date fully on the admin side and I have even reconciled all my income statements to the end of October. Quite impressed I am. The balance sheets come next week!!!! This of course assumes that we have connectivity, as today the internet connection and email connections were dog slow and basically unusable. The phones worked well, so it leads me to believe the problem is in SA rather then here. Month end on Thursday and we seem prepared. Gawd, we have even reconciled creditors in full.

Finally got my contact with the company constructing the new project in the country, and I am off there next week (five hours away) to make contact and get the show on the road. From the length of the trip, I will be spending a night in some nice town hotel somewhere. I am also applying my artistic talents (sic) to produce a nice Ghana Glossy on what we can do. Now all I need is a color printer. It amazes me that I have possible gone back 15 years in facilities available and this all reminds me of when I started in Swaziland in 1991. Oh for the high capacity color printer I had at Unicell that did all my presentations………..

George Bush has not responded to my open letter (refer previous post) and I am sure it is because he is so busy trying to repair the U S Dollar, appoint a new secretary of state and take time off at Camp David. The imam therefore is taking full advantage of this and has increased the volume of his call to prayer (maybe he is not getting full houses now that Ramadan is over) and keep it up between 4.30am and 5.15am meaning sleep is impossible once he gets going. I do believe for my own sanity I am going to have to move soon.

My diet is going well. My pants are still tight, but at least I am enjoying the change in food. I love been able to cook for myself again and get back to the tastes I am used to as opposed to the mass produced taste that we have been getting over the last few months. A care pack is due up next week and I am looking forward to smoking B&H again as opposed to the Rothmans cough drops that we are forced to smoke when the Bennie runs out.

There are elections here on the 7th of December, and campaigning is in full swing, you know you are in a form of democracy when you pass a bicycle flying a 2 meter wide NPP flag. Cars are plastered with posters and the imam’s trick of using a loudspeaker is taken and placed on moving vehicles that extol the virtues of the three candidates running for president. The local Ghana website gives full details of the election and makes for interesting reading. Given Ghana’s interesting political past, all these shenanigans cannot be that bad.

Another hot topic is the Goldfields/ Harmony takeover and this forms a part of any meeting we have with our local clients. It is so interesting to hear everyone’s point of view and live with the rumours that this generates. The pot is boiling and it again will be fun to see the outcome. It affects our business, so it is something that will be watched closely. Again, both goldfields and harmony websites are dedicated to the bid, and each thrust and counter thrust is lauded on the respective website that represents the company that won the battle. Once again, I am constantly amazed by the suits in the buildings in SA that think up these ideas. Oh yes – did you know that Goldfields Tarkwa produces fully 30% of Goldfields earnings. This and other amazing facts available on their website.

Rose (who does our catering) leaves on the 7th of December (or earlier if she can), and that leaves us all alone in procuring food. Based on the fact that the local butcher is an open fly infested table in the market, and all our meat comes from Khumasi (3 hours drive away), meat could become a scarce commodity unless we can do some fancy footwork on the procurement front. That said the price of Fillet (GHC 42.000 ZAR 28.00 per kilo) is the same price as mince, chuck and for that matter any other cut of beef. Ergo, curry using fillet is a fine idea here. Calamari is R22.00 per kilo and lamb R48.00 per kilo. Strange prices……. I am toying with an idea of a fixed GHC 1.000.000 per person as a budget, and I do believe you can live rather well on that amount. It remains to be seen in the new year….

Right – The Block has finished – I typed this during Carte Blanche and the Sunday night movie is on – Vin Diesel so I am off to watch the movie with a bottle of water and pack of ciggies. To that stead – I watched XXX last night for the first time. Good movie that was – not sure how I missed it when it came on circuit.


Have a stunning week people and peoplesses…… I know I have less then a month till the big kick home!!!!!!

Sheesh – did I say at the beginning of this blog that the week was uneventful?

The beach and Think Tanks

Another update to the exciting life in Ghana hits the www. This weekend was a “Think Tank” where I got all my management and supervisory staff together to present the *roll of drums* “MASTER PLAN for 2005. The tank farm was Busua Beach, and those of you who read this missive on a regular basis will recall my visit there in September.

We were all booked in for the Saturday night, and normal planning meant we had a meeting planned for Saturday morning before we departed at “10am”. As per usual 10am was 11:30, and the road if anything was worse on my trip now then I recall it before. We arrive at 1.30, into heat and humidity that makes Durban in February seem like the Drakensburg in July! That said, we had a drink (soft drinks of course) and at 2.30 off to a very nicely appointed conference room with my trusty laptop and the ever present Power Point presentation.

The resort is really first class. Nice rooms, smallish pub, swimming pool, DJ (playing pirated music, much to our HR Directors disgust as she used to be employed in the music industry) and a wonderful beach. Well worth a visit when you in Ghana for the Xmas holidays.

I was pleasantly surprised by the interaction and the enthusiasm shown in the 2.5 hour session (1 x 15 minute smoke break). The guys were animated, but that did tend to wilt when the one airconditioner in the room gave up the ghost, and the room temperature rapidly reached 35 degrees. Needless to say a shower was required after the session. It gets rather difficult to talk about really important stuff when sweat is running, and I mean running, down your back and tracing a delicate path through your bum cheeks!

The evening was pretty festive with a good meal (braai and salads) and a few drinks. I had mentioned to the lads not to destroy the bar budget and they seemed to take me really seriously with me been the only one drinking in the early part of the evening. They did however join me *wipe of brow* and no-one fell down or got nekked in the pool….. yup – not even me! Bloody hell I must be getting old!

The evening started winding down at around 10pm, but given the fact the start of the second session was 12 hours away, a few of the lads and moi toddled off down the road to the Alaska Beach Bar. Basically a pub on the beach. We were the only people there! They had no rum, they lit a fire on the beach, it made the surroundings as hot as hell, I retired to my airconditioned room, and not having anything worth watching on the 4 TV channels, I was asleep by 11. The rest of the lads, or most of them, toodled off down the road (30 mins) to a Jazz bar in Takoradi and I was “reliably” informed they were in bed by 12. (yeah - right)!

Sunday morning – there was no imam!!!! – therefore I slept until 6.30. Impressive! I evidently tossed and turned a tad during the night and managed to knock my glasses off the bedside table. If the cleaner had come in at that time, there she would have been met by a nekked guy, butt in the air feeling around on the floor for a pair of glasses. You have got to understand. My eyesight is foul! So finding glasses in low light early in the morning when you cannot stand up just in case you stand on the bloody things is not much fun. Eventually they were found wedged between the table and the bed. *sigh*

Off to the beach to enjoy the sun and the intense humidity at 8am, I had my first Ghana swim. The water even though it is the Atlantic is wonderful. Warm enough for me, and cool enough to cut the heat. I splashed around for a while, took a few pics, and toddled back to the room to shower and eat breakfast.

Once again a lively debate during our second session, and my Swaziland Staff that read this blog – 2 if my tracking works correctly – will remember the lively sessions we used to have at the Why Not Motel! Getting your management team involved in your vision is always a very good idea!

Lunch was chicken, fish, calamari and chips and needless to say for the second day running my diet was not even considered. I did find the heat at that time of the day unbearable, and given the fact that Man U had an important game at 4.30 local time, off I toddled at 2.30 in time for the game (3-1), the block, Carte Blanche and the Matrix!

I have had, since Thursday, our Human Resources Director staying with me. We did not drink anything at all, but had some pretty interesting discussions, and even did some work on Sunday night.

The imam this morning seemed to have forgotten that Ramadaan is over! So once again, the “alarm clock” went off at 4.30am much to my disgust. It was apparently a public holiday today – not that we would notice – but I do think the only business that is closed on a public holiday is the banks. All the shops and roadside stalls were open and it was business as usual. We did however manage to leave at 6pm and once again I camped in front of the TV for poor Monday night TV. The Block is really the only thing worth watching on a Monday.

My diet was restored today with a concotion of meat, onions, beans, garlic and chilli tossed together in the wok.

Monday at work for some reason is rather chaotic. I am never quite sure why! Today was no different and I quite honestly did not touch sides until around 3pm. We are busy establishing the site (again) around 30kms away, and for some reason the guys allocated to the contract did not bring any clothes with them. This resulted in having to arrange a bus to take them home to pick up clothes. Add to that another workers meeting at 7.30, where 4 of the 6 people were meant to be at the client and you can understand the reaction.

Tomorrow promises to be a fun one, with a 7am meeting, off to Wassa for another meeting at 9.30 and hopefully back at the office by 1. Looks like a late week this week as we make sure everything is up to date to meet some nice tight December reporting deadlines. The fact that I am talking December already means………… yeah you got it HOME TIME!! For some silly reason this stint seems to be dragging, but as I discussed with Nessers tonite, I am hoping by the time we get nearer to the departure date it will seem to has flown.

The start of another week has been successfully negotiated! And I need sleep.

*ponder*

Letter to George W Bush.

Dear George,

While we have not met, you have had enough television time over the last few months (together with some rather unflattering emails depicting you as a monkey) for me to be able to call you George.

As you do not have to seek re-election in four years, I was wondering if you could bend the rules a tad (you have been known to be creative in this area) and assist me with a small problem I have in Ghana. (note to Foreign Minister: Please Point out Ghana on the big map of the World you have. Note to geography teacher, please point out to the Foreign Minister where Ghana is, so he can help George). It appears we have a weapon of mass distraction in the small town of Tarkwa, (yes I know destruction is not spelt like that, but it could be written off to “poor intel”). It appears that some lad is causing major disturbance to my sleeping pattern, and given the fact that my house is on the hill (ie. I hold the high ground – remember that army briefing), could you please assist me with a laser guided missile to take out the loudspeaker causing the disturbance.

I know this request may be a bit strange, but you have decided to save the world from these weapons of mass distraction, and I am sure a special ops team can do this with the minimum of fuss, and who knows, even the ugly press may not find out about it. That is of course assuming there is no embedded journalist, where great press will no doubt come out of it.

Please Uncle George, help a free worlder out here!!!!

Kind regards



*Methinks sleep is required*

Have a good one!!

Remiss about updates!

I have been quite remiss in my Ghana updates over the last 8 days. To my one reader – that is you! – I apologise. As one can well imagine, things have got all sort of hectic here and for some reason late nights have not been possible due to work, travel and the ubiquitous Imam making 4am my now usual wake up time. Ergo by 8pm I am knackered and considering I squeak home by 7pm (just in time for The Block you understand), writing the missive does not seem to be happening.

Ramadan is over tonight – praise be! – and that means we can go back to the 5am imam alarm clock. Woe be the robed wonder that decides 4am should continue. My tolerance will go out the window in a BIG way and I shall be sending emails to George Bush now that he never has to go back to the electorate and laser sites on a small minaret in Tarkwa could be an option.

We are busy establishing a site at a mine some 40km away from the main office (1.5 hours along a rather interesting dirt road) and it is proving to be a challenging task to say the least. What with trucks breaking down, a 45 ton crane on a low bed doing the slip slide thang on the hill and finding 16 beds with all the bedding to send to camp, it has bought a grimace to the face on more then once occasion.

I have also made contact with a new lady at our Boksburg Office who is handling our staff resource procurement. Helpful, professional and above all unfazed by my warped sense of humor ! Dawne. Tanks – officially (well kinda – on my missive is almost official).

Sooooo. As mentioned the week has been somewhat uneventful, although I am cooking for myself full time as I decided it would be a better option then having to purchase size 40 pants. I am eating meat and salad – no starches and have reduced the quantity of food dramatically. I mean come on!!! Getting back to wok cooking with Garlic, Ginger, Masala, poppy seeds and Jeera, I am a happy lad once again. You will ask the question as to if it has made a difference? - I have no bloody idea! My pants are still tight and the belt is down a notch but it should get better. It bloody well better get better or I will be forced to do exercise *shudder*

Talking about weight loss – Johannes – our mechanic supervisor – managed to get bitten by 12 of the dreaded mozzies and contracted malaria. In a bad way! The poor bugger has been in bed for over a week – interspersed with the odd visit to the local hospital to be drip fed cause he cannot keep anything down, and has lost around 5kg. Not a bad feat when you consider he must have weighed 70kg before he started. Good weight loss program but not one that I have any inclination to try out.

This weekend, my management team and of course yours truly are off to a “think tank” at the local resort (which apparently has stunning conference facilities), in order to present them my vision of the company into 2005. They will then tell me if I am smoking my socks or not. With (hopefully) a few alterations based on their experience, we will have a composite business plan to present to the larnies. This will be the achievement of my third goal in the first six months!!!! – whooo hoooo

On the home front the family is fine and having all sorts of parties without me! *growl* and I am pining like you cannot believe. Homesick(ness) is a bad! thing. That said – there is only 39 days to go until I wing it home – so all cannot be that bad – there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Coupled with that – I am also taking an extra weeks leave over that period, mainly due to the fact it is Robbies 21st and I need to carry out mums last wishes and scatter her ashes down in Durban. – which reminds me – what the hell did I do with the undertaker’s number. They have ashes from other people which have been unclaimed for 6 years, I sure as hell do not want that happen to my old mum.

Oh yes! - I am finally realizing my full potential! And am been published. I was asked to write an article for our in-company magazine (Insite – not available at good book stores everywhere). I even get a byline!!! – Oh the fame! The fame! – do not know how I am going to handle it. Now just to get all my other writings published! (Hustler!!! Are you reading this!!!)

On that note – the hustler note as opposed to the fame note – I got quietly spoken to about my browsing habits off the sat line a week or so ago, so to all of you from the sites that I normally visit and comment on, and read my missive – that’s the reason why I am missing in action. It does mean if I want to retain my fan base (of 2), I will need an internet connection that is not subject to rules and regulations. I am limiting my access to Banking, Newspapers and Blogging! But rest assured I will be back!

Right! - That said – My presentations for tomorrow have completed printing! Oh for a color printer like we had at Unicell to make them look professional! Black and White just does not do it justice!

Have a fun weekend and hopefully I will have pics of the weekend for you all to look at and say “sheesh Ghana is not THAT bad!!”


Be happy 0-0

Night Driving

There is a reason that I was told before I came up to Ghana not to drive at night. I do not talk about the 16km back home at 7pm, but more the journeys out of town. Tonight I learnt the reason why!!

Normal monthly visit to a client 4 hours away which due to the problems of getting a meeting time with them, I decided to arrive at 2.30pm and catch them just after lunch. Here everyone on the mines eat at a mine canteen, and therefore toddle off at 1pm for chop, generally returning between 2 and 2.30. So a meeting at the local mine at 7am, followed by stuff at the office and off I toddle at 11am.

The drive is uneventful, though boring and I managed to do some accounting stuff until my battery on the laptop was flat and read my book the rest of the way. (Sam and Nessers – the drivers name was Daniel). Duly arrive and get business done. The normal 20 minute meeting that I have had there over the last two visits suddenly became a 2 hour meeting, followed by a 30 minute meeting with my staff on site. Ergo as math’s would have it…. I left at 5:30pm.

Been close to the equator, the days and nights are pretty much equal, with the sun up at 5.30am and setting at 6.00pm. Thus we were forced to drive back in the dark.

The following facts are mine as the drive was interesting to say the least.

• At least 30% of Ghana vehicles have defective lights.
• 100% of Ghana Vehicles drive in the middle of the road and the late swerve to the right to miss oncoming vehicles gets later at night. Note: My driver is Ghanaian and my eyes closed tight on more then one occasion.
• 50% of all villages that we pass through do not have electricity. Ergo we have people wandering around in a village setting at night, in the middle of the road. The hooter gets used a whole lot.
• The two main towns we went through have an amazing amount of people on the (one) main road at night. Couple this with cars parked on the side of the road – on both sides – and poor lighting and you can imagine how interesting it is to drive the 2 odd kilometers thru the town.
• The road is warm at night and all sorts of animals lie in the road for warmth.
• The rain that hits Tarkwa at 4pm hits Bibiani at 6pm, which means all the tar roads are wet and steaming. Ergo, it is like driving through mist with reduced visibility.
• My Gelunderwagen does not have fog lights and falls under the 30% of cars in Ghana that has defective lights. (My high beam is aimed at aircraft landing).
• My driver wanted to get home ASAP.

That said, certain aspects of my life did flash before my eyes – some of them good enough that I wanted a re-run. We got home at 9pm and I was buggered – I can imagine how the driver felt. (We did however find time to stop and for Daniel to purchase 2 bunches of green bananas for GHC20,000 (R15.00) – apparently at 1/3rd of the price charged in Tarkwa.
Needless to say – my planning will be a little bit better in the future and I will accept the fact that I am only able to visit one client that day, rather then trying to squeeze two clients in.

Awake at 5am, leave for work at 6am and arrive home at 9pm. Kinda like an interesting work day I think.

On a personal note, I am going on a ration run this weekend for Salad stuff. My pants are getting really tight for me and it is obvious that the food that I am getting is vastly in excess of my normal requirements. I already have olive oil and vinegar, together with a huge bottle of crushed garlic, so all that is missing is course black pepper. (Note to Nessers for next care pack!)

Typed this blog to get the mind back from its adrenaline high and now I sleep.

Goodnight!

How to shower when no water comes from your tap

Day 2 sans water, and here dear reader is a "How to shower"

Still no water so here we have the Ghana bugger I have no water coming out of my tap shower.

1. Ensure you have a 10 liter margarine container that comes from Holland
2. Get the gilly to go out and find water and fill up the container
3. Place container over the plug in the bath.
4. Kneel in the bath and stick your head in the container – (note it is wise to make sure your head is not bigger then the container)
5. Remove head from container and shampoo
6. Stick head back in container and rinse.
7. Stand in bath and pour ½ the container over your head to wet down body
8. Soap well
9. Pour the remainder of the container over the body to rinse
10. Remember to have the plug in the bath so that if all the soap does not come off you at least have some more water to rise the soap off properly.
11. If you are like me and forgot to put the plug in and still have soap in the lower regions, take the toilet bucket that gilly had filled up in case I wanted to flush and use some of that water to rinse off the remaining soap.

Shower complete **g**

Monday Update

Talking about the juju that runs my water system at the house in the previous post, must have nudged the water gods and p'd them off somewhat. As of yesterday morning I have no hot water at all. I also have no cold water at all. No water - Nada!!. The houseboy (yeah - I still have not learnt what his name is) is quite adept at securing water from somewhere (The problem is quite major it seems as all the houses in the area have no water), therefore I could flush the loo and shave in cold water. The bath was more challenging and bathing in 1" of cold water at 5am is definatly not my idea of fun.

Rose has started sourcing water from the local fire department to fill up the tanks so we can at least have 5000 litres of water running thru the geyser. Oh the joys of africa!

My Gelunderwagen was not delivered back to me yesterday, ergo I was generally stuck at home as going anywhere in the LDV was not going to be an option.

That said, I spent a bit of time learning Photoshop, shooting Jerries, watching all sorts of TV proggies, started mowing the lawn around 5 minutes before the rain came down (again), reading my books and generally pottered around. Gawd life got so boring I actually cleaned out my suitcase!!

So - no pics from my wanderings yesterday, although I did manage to get some great pics of the sunset last night which I will post tomorrow.

A monday full of fun awaits

let me at it!

Weekend off with time on ones hands - again

As I type this on a Saturday night with Survivor all stars on the box, my (now personal) imam doing his nightly prayers, I can only reflect back on the week that was. Week 2 completed and an eventful one it was.

On a very sad note, Nessers dad passed away rather suddenly on Tuesday night and given that I have just arrived back, going back south to offer moral support would not have worked out at all. Would not have made the Wednesday flight and getting the Friday flight would have meant the funeral was missed. One of the major downsides of an expat life, especially one where home is not quite a short hop home.

We have now decided one death each in the family is enough!

On Wednesday I finally got to Obuasi, which is two hours away (108km) on one of the better roads I have traveled. Granted there were the normal pot holes and narrow parts (I now understand how head on's happen – these buggers do insist on driving in the middle of the road and kind of dipping right as you approach. One set of bad timing and the airbag light on Gelunderwagen that was glowing bright read would have really meant something.

I went with Albert, our works superintendent and was shown out Obuasi office. That was where we were originally, but moved to Tarkwa late last year due to a huge increase in business in the area and the concomitant reduction in work at Obuasi and surrounds. The workshop is wonderful. Electricity, nice covered facilities loads of well laid out offices and good security. It cemented my idea to reopen the facility to take advantage of the new development just over 2 hours further on. This will happen early in the New Year as soon as I get the right kind of supervisor to head up the team.

The local mine is a surface and underground operation and we met the guys that count and should get a small amount of business to start off with. Nice operation, very very old (+- 100 years) and reminds me of the old mining villages in the western Tvl. Good drive back and in time for a 5pm meeting with the local mine in Tarkwa. One of the few times you can actually meet two clients in one day.

Thursday was my first meeting with the workshop workers reps whereby finally my 3 month no change rule was over and we could start implementing my vision. It went really well and did show I was reasonably well in touch with their concerns. We have the making of a really good team here.

Thursday was drinks with the Civils guys, with their new MD in town and although business was spoken about it did not consist of the entire evening’s conversation, and the beers were cold. I got home after 11, which for me these days is a fairly late night.

Friday was the ubiquitous month end weekend, which saw all the lads dashing off for the weekend and the ability to have some quiet time on Friday afternoon to kill off most of the month end stuff. I did however vanish at 3pm for a nap as there was to be a dinner at Denzil place for the Lyco guys (Consulting engineers on our Tarkwa Job) and the Ghana Manganese lads. I needed (a) to nap and (b) to get some food in the belly as month end Fridays mean lunch does not get made. I had a stunning meze of olives, salami, pickled chilly and biltong. Happy Happy happy!!!!.

The dinner was stunning. Rose had pulled all the stops out with tables under tarps in the garden, bamboo deco masking parts of the house wall and giving us a very jungle feeling. Booze was aplenty (no captains – but rum never the less) and white jacketed stewards and waiters. Very very colonial. Food was out of the top drawer with prawn and avo cocktail starters, lamb on the spit (must have been a runner cause gawd he was skinny and tough, prawns, chicken, crayfish, coleslaw and different types of savory rice. Everyone was suitably impressed and the evening was a huge success – despite the fact the rain came down in buckets for most of the evening. I learnt a fair amount as regards client entertainment in Ghana as most of you will realize most of my client entertainment in my last job was done at the pubs and restaurants around Sandton. *chuckle*

Late evening again and I was thankful that it is an off weekend and I could wander into work at 8pm this morning to kill off the month end with only the slightest of hangovers. The imam played his normal alarm clock role, but as by that stage I only had two hours sleep, it was quite simple to swear briefly and go back to sleep.

Gelunderwagen was taken away yesterday to (finally) have the shocks repaired and get the red light on the airbag resolved. That said, we are dead short of vehicles and as I wanted to work the extra hours on Friday to make sure I had some time off this weekend, I volunteered to take the local LDV which “had a problem with the fuel pump”. The problem was a fairly simple one. The vehicle cannot go above 2000rpm. As soon as I learnt that you could rush thru the gears and get up to a maximum speed of 60kmph, I was made. Getting up the goat track to my house was somewhat challenging, but eventually negotiated.

A quiet afternoon at home in front of the TV interspersed with time on the computer playing shoot em up, I am suitably chilled and looking forward to my car been delivered tomorrow morning and going exploring. So hopefully I will have some more pics from “Ghana Travels” to post with this blog.

Friday morning was fun when my cold water tap unilaterally decided it was a hot water tap and I had scalding water coming out of both taps. In the other bathroom, there was no hot water at all – go figure!

One day I will take the time and effort to trace the water system here and find out exactly where the juju takes over to make hot water an abundant commodity in my house.

The imam has completed his Saturday night prayers, the TV is now on Supersport highlights and there are Germans that need to be stopped in their dire attempt to take over the free world and my computer!

Updates soon!!